The Reason Is You
by Razmo
Summary: End of S4, S5 AU. Rachel Berry has her life plan set out, she knows what her dreams are/ New York is a place where dreams come true. You'd think they'd be a match made in happen? Things don't always go according and along the way Rachel loses track of just how special she is; maybe all she needs is someone to remind her. Rachel Berry centric along with her friends Dantana and Kurt
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **

**This is an idea that came into my mind at the start of season 5 when we first encountered the diner; it gives such an exciting and interesting way to introduce new characters into the show and i think that they could done a better job of it. **

**There is going to be set towards the end of season 4 to start with, Rachel has had her callback to funny girl but has yet to find out about it. I really caught onto the line from s5e1 where Rachel talks about making it on her own without her Dads support and I think this is just like Rachel to be like; _Hey this guy says I rely on my fathers to support me _and is determined to prove that she doesnt need them. That Rachel Berry can work, go to NYADA AND make it on Broadway all at the same time.**

**I'm going to explore Rachel's possible love story with an OC, James (A completely different James to my other story!), that she might happy to meet at the diner. I don't really want to write Finn as dying, but I'm going to try and approach Rachel finding love in a different way; she and Finn aren't together as of the end of season 4 and what if she meets someone who makes her feel special?**

**Dantana and Klaine are going to exist and I might write in Samcedes. **

**The story is M rated because I want to try and write some smut scenes. There probably won't be a lot but there will be some in the story so be prepared! I will mark the top of the chapters with a warning if you dont want to read them!**

**I hope you enjoy this!.**

**Chapter 1**

The sound of an alarm rung through the air in an apartment in Bushwick. Rachel groaned as she rolled over in her large bed, pushing back the covers from over her head and wiped the sleep from her eyes, adjusting to the early morning spring sunlight peaking through the curtains of the apartment she shared with Santana and Kurt.

_5:00 am_

Rachel moaned again, throwing her phone back down on the bed and collapsing backwards throwing her head against her pillow. Of course, Rachel was used to getting up earlier than most people in the morning, part of the routine she had developed for herself while she had lived at home in high school; the routine that would one day help her when she was on stage performing on Broadway. What she wasn't adjusted to was working until midnight the night before at the diner Santana had gotten her a job at a couple of weeks previous, and she definitely wasn't adjusted to getting less than eight hours sleep before she had to get up to start another shift.

A lot of her classmates at NYADA were enjoying their Spring break, but not Rachel. Instead thanks to this new job she had at the Spotlight Diner, and really she was thankful to Santana getting her this job as it would give her something to do to keep her occupied while she waited to hear back about her audition for Funny Girl as well as providing some extra income on top of that which her Dad's were providing her. It wasn't even that bad working there, apart from the late finishes and early starts involved in the job. The Starlight Diner was located close to Broadway, like right around the corner from the Gershwin Theatre and Rachel loved being able to walk past them on her way to work and during her breaks. The pay was even averagely decent enough for the work she was doing, working as a waitress serving customers all day; some of which were incredibly rude and seemed to enjoy sitting in her section every time they visited just to torment her, but the large majority of which were generally nice people who treated her with respect. Rachel had never even thought about getting a job before, instead she had always planned on letting her Dad's fund her way through college, which she knew they would be more than happy to, and when she got out college she had expected to be funding herself by starring on Broadway.

Since her breakup with Brody nearly three weeks prior, her attitude on the matter had changed somewhat. Rachel had spent a few days trying to get over the fact that the first relationship she had in New York ended up falling apart drastically. It had all gone to hell when she had gone home for Mr Schuster and Miss Pillbury's wedding and ended up sleeping with Finn. When she had returned, things between her and Brody had been stretched and she spent several weeks feeling as though there was something big between them, not only her withholding the fact she had slept with her ex but also on his end. That secret had come out spectacularly with the revelation that he was a gigolo. She hadn't expected that at all; maybe that he slept with someone else, she found herself thinking that she could have gotten over that fact; because afterall she had cared about Brody, he made her feel beautiful and made her feel like she was deserving of the attention of this incredibly handsome guy. Rachel didn't have any idea how she was supposed to deal with him being a gigolo, that he had slept with countless...scratch that she didn't want to know how many woman he had slept with while they had been an item. The idea of it sent a shiver down her spine, and she wished she could look past it; but in the end it had ended with them both in tears. Rachel did have feelings for Brody, and she was deeply hurt by the whole saga; not knowing what to do next, knowing she couldn't forgive him but also knowing that she was still attached to him and didn't want to move back to Finn, despite the romantic gesture he had made to come and tell Brody to get out of her life. She wasn't completely over the fact that Brody had pretended to care about her but then gone behind her back and done something so horrible, and starting something with Finn wouldn't be fair to either of them; just as it had been over the years they had tried dating before. Right now, she had to focus on herself. Ugh, when did life get so difficult.

That had led to the thinking that she needed to get a better outlook on the world, interact with other people in New York rather than limiting herself to the ones at NYADA; despite how at home she felt around her fellow students; Rachel Berry needed to broaden her horizon. So she had asked Santana to get her a job at the Starlight Diner, where the Latino former cheerleader had been working for around a month since her arrival in New York. It honestly wasn't that bad of a job, and the one thing that was attractive and interesting enough that she took it was the fact that the waitresses and waiters were all singers and dancers who got the chance to perform songs and dance routines at several various intervals during the day. Rachel Berry could interact with the wider, non-NYADA related world as well as doing the one thing she loved to do; Perform.

Another benefit of the whole, job experiment was that she got to work with Santana essentially everyday. Gunther, the slightly racist owner of the diner had assigned their shifts to cross over practically of every single one of the shifts she had worked for the past few weeks. Spending time with Santana would have been something Rachel would have hated a year ago, but now she found herself actually becoming good friends with her. Santana's involvement in the Brody breakup affair had made Rachel realize that there was some form of closeness between the two girls. It was nice having Santana living with her and Kurt, giving her someone to talk to that didn't have the same dramatic outlook on life as she did and generally the three of them got on really well.

…

Half an hour later, Rachel and Santana were sat on a bus on their way to the spotlight diner; just as they did every time they had an early shift together. Neither of them tended to talk much, something Rachel was fine with considering how little sleep she had gotten, simply sitting there enjoying the quiet company of the other girl.

...

_She was sat on bus, on her way to her first shift at the spotlight diner she would be working at with Santana. Rachel Berry was actually nervous. Of course, that was being fought with for control with heartache and betrayal as the major thing that she felt; but she was fiddling with her fingers in the way she noticed that strange homeless people did as she walked past them on the streets of Manhattan. Turning her head to glance at Santana, she saw the girl was sat with her headphones in idly tapping his hand on her leg. Smiling to reassure herself, Rachel sighed and slouched in her seat, waiting for this terrifying ordeal to be over._

_As the bus came to a stop in front of a bus diner, and busy was an understatement; there was actually a queue to get in that bent around the corner of the street. Her eyes flashed to Santana who was standing up with a calm expression. Jumping to her feet, Rachel gulped before she followed of the bus._

_"This was a mistake" The words left her mouth before she even realised it._

_"Ok no, Rachel you are not backing out. I basically had to show Gunther my left side boob to get you this job." Santana replied, leading her through the diner doors, which were opened for them by a pair of handsome guys wearing red shirts._

_As she stepped in Rachel gulped, what had she gotten herself into; Rachel Berry didn't work, certainly not in a diner that was packed full of people. Glancing around she saw that every table was full, and there were several girls and guys running around wearing the same uniform she was. Looking to her left, she saw Santana heading towards a counter and quickly followed her; taking her lead and removing her coat, placing it in Santana's hand who quickly placed it behind the counter and swapped her for a piece of white cloth._

_"Here put this on" Santana said, as she walked off again; causing Rachel to hurry after her, dodging a someone who was carrying a tray full of dishes._

_"Look Santana, while I really appreciate you freely prostituting yourself for me that was before my world came crashing down in the few weeks not hearing about my funny girl audition." Rachel moaned, following her friend to the door to the kitchen, watching as she picked up a tray and started to walk off before a male with a new York accent called out to them._

_"You're late Lopez"_

_"Yes, Yes I know…sorry Gunther" Santana replied, and Rachel tried not to smirk at the eye roll she saw the girl give her boss._

_"Is that Her?"_

_"Yes, this is her, Rachel that's Gunther"_

_Rachel waves nervously and mutters a Hi softly_

_"Don't tell him if you're Jewish or Black" Santana whispered to her before heading off carrying the tray, and Rachel glanced nervously at the man who was eyeing her suspiciously before chasing after Santana._

_"Listen you said it yourself a bazillion times, if you wanna get to broadway you have to pay your dues"_

_Rachel sighs listening to Santana, letting out a yelp as she has to duck to dodge a guy who is carrying a tray full of food. Walking after Santana she had to admit that she could see what the girl was talking about._

_"Well I guess that's true, I mean Patti LuPone was a waitress pre-Evita. And you know this is the spotlight diner, and it's on Broadway and waiters get to sing and dance plus my dad's will pay my rent until I die, but I don't want that anymore, what happened with you know who, I realized I want to be grown up, living and making it on my own." She replied, coming to a step in the middle of the diner as Santana handed her the tray full of empty dishes._

_"We're basically working actresses" Santana said with a smile before she disappeared off leaving her in the middle of the diner with no idea what she was doing. Glancing around she sighed heavily. Yep this was going to be hell._

_…_

That had been her first day at the spotlight diner, a shift full of running around cleaning up after the disgustingly messy tables as people vacated them. Okay, it hadn't been that bad; in fact she had actually begun to enjoy working there over the past few weeks. She found herself getting along with most of the people that worked there, something she was both happy and surprised about; because Rachel Berry did not make friends with strangers quickly. She had also been pleasantly surprised at the quality of performers there, while they weren't as good as she was vocally, their dancing was incredible and she felt like she was on the set of one of those cheesey tv musical shows with how they broke into dance at least once every hour singing anything from music from Broadway musicals to classic rock.

One of the benefits about working this early shift; and it was the only reason she could manage the sleep deprivation, was the fact that it was also quiet at this of the morning. It didn't really tend to get busy to at least 10am, leaving her a good three hours to work at a leisurely pace before things turned into a hectic mess. Opening the doors of the diner, Santana just behind her, she walked in and smiled as she saw a grand total of five customers seated around while the five waiters already working were stood around at the counter chatting to one another. Rachel felt herself smile again as she spotted Dani sitting swinging chatting to a guy with short black curly hair, James.

"I'll see you in a bit" Santana whispered to her before heading over to where the over girl was sat; and Rachel bit her lip as she watched the two embrace.

She was giddy at seeing the sight, knowing that Santana had a crush on the girl with blonde highlights in her hair; and Rachel enjoyed watching the two interact. Santana in high school had been confident when she flitered and interacted with guys, but watching this Santana was a completely different sight; she seemed nervous whenever she was alone with Dani and Rachel had been trying to set them up over the last week or so. Heading over to join them, Rachel smiled at Dani who sent her a wink.

"Hey Rachel" Dani's soft voice spoke, and Rachel hugged her.

"Morning Dani" She replied smiling, before turning to the guy was stood with his body angled so he could lean against the counter.

"Hi Rach" His deep voice spoke to her, flashing her his trademark grin, but it was a voice with tenderness in it.

"Hey" She said, moving to hug him and pulled back blushing slightly.

That was James, Dani's best friend and the two of them seemed close; they lived together in a two bedroomed apartment and from what she gathered they had known each over since before high school. He was at NYU studying a business degree and was a very handsome guy; with a strong jaw and beautiful brown eyes.

He would alternate between teasing her and being this sweet guy that she was beginning to grow close to. Rachel especially liked it when he called her beautiful, in the past it might have made her feel uncomfortable and in the past it had been associated with when guys were trying to hit on her but with this guy it was different. He didn't use it flirtatiously, he simply used it as a greeting similar to "Hey Buddy"; and thus Rachel never felt uncomfortable around him over the past few weeks since she had met him. He worked in the diner, and seemed to spend a lot of time in the kitchen cooking with the other guys who worked in there. It was refreshing to spend time around a guy who she could talk to as a friend and not have to worry about them being romantically interested in her; since he had shown no interest in being anything more than a friend to her, and at this point with how confusing her love life was, Rachel was eternally grateful.

The four of them spent some chatting to one another about their night before Gunther came out of the back and in his typical friendly manner told them to get back to work because he didn't pay them to stand around talking. Sighing, she flashed James a smile before he disappeared into the back, finding herself walking around with Dani making conversation while the two of them appeared to look busy.

…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Working at the diner has done wonders for her social life. Before, she was the girl that had two friends in New York; Kurt and Santana; but after working a t the diner she'd expanded her social group to include about five or six others who she actually enjoyed talking to and found herself spending more time with them outside of work as well. Two of them, Rachel had found herself becoming particularly close to; Dani and James. She enjoyed talking with them and actually getting to know them properly.

Dani had confused the hell out of her at first. She seemed to be very open and friendly with a few people, but seemed to practically retreat into a shy shell with anyone else. Rachel counted herself lucky in that regard that she had made friends with Dani, because she was a ton of fun to be around and the two of them shared more musical interests than Rachel thought would be possible considering Dani has the whole _rock chick _look down to a T. Rachel had the sneaking suspicion that Dani was a lesbian at first considering that Dani never mentioned having been in a relationship when she asked Rachel about her ex's, and she didn't think there was anything wrong with it; Why would she? She is the daughter of two gay men and her best friends are both gay. She particularly enjoyed watching her and Santana together, they innocently flirted with one another and Rachel wasn't even sure it was flirting; definitely not what she'd known flirting to be. The two girls talked normally but there would just be that little look between them when Rachel watched them with a smile that told her they would make an amazing couple if they would both weren't so damn blind. It was really interesting to see Santana oblivious about a person she liked; Rachel even found it funny that in High School, Santana was so overly flirty with every single boy but now she seemed to not even notice the way that Dani took many opportunities to place her hand on Santana's hand, arm or shoulder.

She couldn't not get involved and had even brought up the matter with Santana.

"What about me and Dani?" Santana had asked defensively, pausing brushing her hair as they both stood in the bathroom of the bushwick apartment.

"You know, what's going on there?" Rachel asked smiling like a kid at purpose. Santana nervous was cute, the way her cheeks would blush ever so slightly and the way she'd rub her thumbs over her fingernails.

"Nothing; we're just friends" Santana said back "Don't meddle in my business or I'll go all lima heights on you"

Rachel had giggled as the Latina had stalked away murmuring in Spanish. If Santana had threatened her like that in High school, Rachel would have been scared; but the Santana that lived with her and Kurt in Bushwick was a sweetheart and would never hurt her. Instead of being scared, Rachel focused on the fact that Santana had a crush on somebody and was determined to get them together.

….

That had led to a conversation with James at work the next day as she helped him wash up in the Kitchens. Her first impressions of James had been completely misplaced and she was actually surprised by how he seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. She felt a little bad about how she'd judged him at first, but honestly with what had happened with Brody and how James had made his entrance into her life; could you really blame her?

….

_Rachel rolled her eyes as she turned her back on a customer, hating the fact that she had to smile at them all day while grown men were clearly trying undressing her out of that admittedly skimpy waitress outfit. It wasn't too bad, but she'd already had to resist slapping a guy that day whose hand "accidently" landed on her bottom as she bent down to pick up some crap off the floor._

_Slapping the order down she leaned against the counter and took a drink, trying to wash the bile out of her throat when she saw a grown man trying to peer down her top; didn't these pigs ever grow up?_

_"Dude, it was so fucking amazing; you wouldn't believe the amount of hot girls" A voice came from the kitchen that she didn't recognize. She'd been working at the diner for a couple of weeks and knew that there was five people that worked in the kitchen. Rachel had met four of them, they ranged from 19-25 and all worked at the diner full time as they tried to get gigs around the city but the fifth, a 22 year old named James she hadn't met yet, apparently he had decided to enjoy his spring break in Mexico with a few of his friends._

_"You get laid?" The voice she recognized as Max asked and Rachel rolled her eyes. Is that all guys actually talked about? She knew high school guys thought like that but before she'd come to New York she'd hoped that maybe miraculously they'd grown out of it. Brody had proved her wrong with that, Dirt bag._

_"You have no idea dude" The other voice she assumed was James replied. "Drunk sorority girls; they practically fucking throw themselves at you. Jesus, you have no idea how much-"_

_Rachel didn't wait around to listen to the rest of the conversation, instead walking away to get back to work. She didn't want to sit around and listen to a bunch of jerks talk about her sex like that. Thinking about how pathetic these guys were made her think of Finn, the one guy who she'd never thought would talk about girls like that. Maybe that was wishful thinking, he certainly had seemed very interested in trying to get into her pants their senior year when they had eventually slept together. She'd always had Finn on a pedestal in that regard, wanting to believe that he was better than the average guy._

_"Well at least he doesn't swear" Rachel found herself assuring herself as she put on a show face smile._

_…_

She'd purposefully avoided going into the kitchen for the rest of that week. Of course, her curiosity got to her and she ended up asking several of the girls that worked there what James looked like and they all gave her similar responses; "Tall, Tanned, Very nice body and incredibly hot". In fact, the way they talked about him made her a little uncomfortable; it felt like they would all happily drop their pants for him as soon as he flashed them a smile. After "dating" Brody and what he turned out to be like, she hated the thought of it.

The universe sucks. That's what Rachel decided when Gunther ordered her to go and work in the kitchen on a day when Ben called in sick. She couldn't and hated cooking. Baking was something she could do for hours, smiling as she remembers how much Finn used to like it when she made him banana bread and sugar cookies. Sulking slightly she threw her apron behind the counter and trounced off into the kitchen, thinking to herself at least it's the graveyard shift so that wouldn't involve much work anyway.

"Gunther sent me into help you" She murmured as she entered the kitchen and was greeted by James stood leaning against the counter as he played with his phone. She took a second to take him in and well, the girls were right; he was hot. He was tall but definitely not six foot, Rachel knew what six foot looked like, but she could instantly tell that he worked out; his work shirt tightly hugging his muscular arms.

"Cool" He replied looking up at her and Rachel smiled back; not only was he hot, he had a handsome face as well; a strong jaw and a slight dimple in his cheek as he smiled at her. It took her a moment to realize that he had moved to stand in front of her another moment to realize that he'd offered her his hand. "I'm James Richards"

"Hi" She said softly, moving her hand to shake his. _He has soft hands. _"I'm Rachel, Rachel Berry"

"That's a beautiful name" He replied, smiling slightly at her. "Nice to meet you Rachel"

"Yeah you too" She smiled back at him as he turned and walked back towards the cooker.

"Can you cook?"

"Not really. I can bake cakes and cookies stuff like that but nothing really" She supplies hesitantly, smiling sheepishly a little embarrassed to admit it. She feels them wash away when he winks at her and smiles warmly.

"Well then, let's make a deal; I'll cook you make sure everything looks presentable" He asks kindly and she couldn't help but nod at him smiling.

"Sure" She replies flashing him a smile; maybe he wasn't so bad? "You've got a deal".

They fall in a routine over the next hour, not really talking much. In fact Rachel is a little too surprised to say anything to him as they work, she'd spent the last week imagining him to be well exactly like Brody; cocky, sarcastic and full of himself but instead the kindness and warmness of their first conversation had floored her. For whatever reason, she wanted to find out more about him and was more than happy to hear him try to break the ice.

"What are you doing in New York?" he asks, leaning against the counter as they wash some dishes together.

"I go to NYADA" She replies, glancing at him and he has an impressed look on his face as his mouth is open slightly.

"Wow" He says simply and she can hear what she thinks is an impressed tone. "You must be really talented"

Rachel blushes, a nervous smile on her lips as she shrugs it off. "I'm okay"

"You must be more than okay, NYADA is the top Musical theatre institute in the country"

"How do you know that?" She asks curious.

"A buddy of mine is dating a girl that's a senior" He replies resuming washing the plate in his hand.

"Do you mind me asking who?"

"Chloe Mayfield" He offers and Rachel eyes widen. The girl is one of the best dancers at NYADA who excels in Ballet and is tipped to go on to great things when she graduates.

"Wow, I've never actually met her but wow" She replies.

"You dance or sing?" He asks and she smiles at the fact he seems genuinely interested in her.

"I'm a singer, I want to perform on Broadway one day" She says, chewing her bottom lip as she watches him.

"Like I said, I'm sure you're really talented"

They talk about NYADA, well he asks her questions about her performing and she's more than happy to answer them for him. She blushes under his gaze, an intent look that leaves her feeling that he's never heard anybody more important than her speak to him. Alright she knows it stupid, but she's never had this look from anyone before as if she had the most important thing in the world to say.

"What about you?" She asks a little while later as they're stood around passing the time by throwing a small ball across the room. "Do you sing ?"

He laughs and she cant help but laugh as well. He shakes his head while he answers. "No I don't, well I can play piano pretty well and I can kind of sing but no I go to NYU"

"Oh, what's your major?"

"Economics" He replies and to say she's surprised is an understatement. "Don't look so surprised, I'm not a fucking idiot"

"Sorry I didn't mean to insinuate that you-" She tries to explain, the colour draining from her cheeks as she thinks she's actually offended him. Rachel is cut off when he starts laughing a her.

"Rachel, I'm kidding" He says, smirking at her.

He spends the next hour or so telling her about himself. Rachel finds out that he's 22 and in his senior year at College and will be graduating with a very good record in a few months' time. His father co-owns an investment company and he tells her that's what he's planning doing when he graduates, getting a job in the city or perhaps in another state as an Investment Banker because he's always wanted to follow in his father's footsteps and basically he likes the idea of quote; "making a lot of fucking money".

In turn she tells him about her Broadway ambitions and it seems to light up his face as she tells him exactly what roles that entails until he admits that he's always had a soft spot for musicals and that leads them onto discussing what their favourites are and of course Rachel hugs him when he says that Wicked is probably his favourite one. She tells him that she hasn't really made many friends in her freshmen year and that leads to her bringing up her asshole of an ex-boyfriend Brody who was probably the only real friend she made well, before he turned out to be gigolo.

"He what?" James asks with a wide eyes. "No fucking way"

"Yeah He was" She admits, her smile fading.

"Well he's a fucking idiot" She looks up at his words and sees him smiling at her. "You're a beautiful girl and if he doesn't respect you; who needs the fucking prick"

Rachel giggles. "Thank you for saying I'm beautiful"

"It's true" He shrugs, though she can tell that he knows how much it really means to her; Rachel's always been self conscious about her looks and doesn't hear it off people very often. For some reason, hearing it from James means the world to her; probably because he doesn't seem interested in getting into her pants, she can see that he just means it as compliment.

"What about you?" She asks interestedly.

"I don't date" He replies and she can tell that there's a sad story behind it by the way his smile fades.

"How come" Rachel presses him gently, feeling a strange sort of bond with him already.

"I got fucked about by a girl when I was in High School so I just don't" James says quieter than she thinks he's ever spoken to her the last few hours they've been together. "I wouldn't be any good for a girl who wanted a relationship anyway"

"Why?"

"Because I'm a fucking asshole to them" He replies, smiling sadly.

"You seem like a nice guy to me" She says smiling, and it only widens when she sees him smile at her. It's true, maybe her first impression of him after overhearing him talk about getting laid made her think he's an asshat like Brody, but no guy has been this kind to her since Finn.

"I'm okay around girls who are friends" He replies and she feels her heart warm that he considers her a friend; well they did just spend like five hours getting to know each other. "Once sex comes into it…well, I'm not very good at actually wanting to do anything serious. You should probably hate me considering I pretty much sleep around with any girl like your douchebag of an ex"

"I don't think you're like him" Rachel admits after a little bit of silence. Alright, she's a little disappointed about the fact that he sleeps around but she didn't have this sort of open conversation with Brody; the whole time they were together he never really enjoyed the whole talking side of their relationship. "He had sex with woman who paid him while he was with me. I don't think you'd do that to someone you cared about. Besides, You're an attractive guy, I'm sure you get plenty of offers"

"That's probably the problem, I don't know how to say no to them" He says and Rachel smiles sadly at him. They talk for another couple of hours, though she avoids bringing up anything to serious and instead focuses on asking him about his friends and taking the opportunity to tell him about hers. She knew he'd be popular and he lists a large number of people that he describes as friends but Rachel can tell by the way he talks about them that he _knows _but aside from about three or four, it doesn't sound like he actually cares much about them Rachel's ears perk up when he mentions Dani.

"I don't really make friends that easily" She admits, chewing her lip.

"Why not?" He asks

"I'm not the easiest girl to get along with" She shrugs her shoulders "People don't like me"

"Well people are fucking dumb; you're great" He says not looking up from what he was doing. Rachel can't help the smile that crosses her face; he didn't say it to elicit a reaction from her, he just said it and meant it.

"You should talk to Dani" He offers a few minutes later as he takes a sip of water. "She struggles with getting to know people as well; you two could be like friends"

"How do you know Dani?" She asks

"We live together" He shrugs non committedly and walks past her to go back to the cooker.

"You live together?" She asks, working over and grabbing a plate.

"Yeah what's the big deal" He says not looking at her. Rachel doesn't respond to that, for whatever reason he seems to be defensive about the girl and well, she doesn't want to get into a fight with a guy she's only just started talking to. They spend the last couple of hours in relative silence, not really talking about much in particular as they just make idle chit chat.

"Thanks for letting me keep you company" She says as their shift is coming to a close.

"Don't mention it, I liked talking to you; you're sweet" He admits with a smile and Rachel bites her lip to stop the giggle. "Make sure you get some rest, graveyard shift is fucking horrible"

"I will, you do the same" She says waving at him as he winks at her.

Rachel smiles leaning against the counter as she watches him head towards the doors. How people surprise you when you actually get to know them instead of jumping to conclusions about them before you've even met them. Rachel thinks that she might just have made a new friend and he certainly seems like someone she could grow to depend on.

She's a little surprised however at what she sees when Dani enters the diner. Her eyes widen as James leans down and pressed a kiss against Dani's cheek as he pulls her into an embrace and the blonde girl wraps her arms around his waist and slips her hands into the pockets on the back of his pants. Rachel is honestly shocked at the affectionate gesture. A million thoughts run through her mind as she watches the two separate and after Dani giggles at something James says, he waves at her and walks out of the diner.

One thought runs through her head as she watches the scene; _What's going on there?_

"Hey Rachel" Dani says as she walks around the counter and gets her apron from the shelves underneath. "You not heading off?"

"I'm waiting for Santana" She replies smiling. "You and James are friends?"

"Yeah" Dani nods then gives her another warm smile "I better get to work; see you tomorrow Rachel"

"Bye Dani" Rachel says softly as the blonde girl walks away. Rachel chews her lip as she watches after her for a moment, whatever was going on; she was going to find out.

…..

**A/N :**

**I know what you're thinking, but bear with me! Dani and James 'relationship' will get explained**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It's on her mind for the next few days as she tries to figure out what exactly is going on between Dani and James. Rachel tries to ask Santana about them but she just shrugs off the fact that they live together with a "So what plenty of people live together" and then walks off. Rachel realises that Santana probably knows more than she is letting on, but for whatever reason hasn't chosen to share that information with her.

Maybe Rachel was a little too hasty to jump to conclusions about Dani's sexuality, I mean just because she innocently flirts with Santana doesn't mean that she actually has a crush on her does it? But then again just because Dani hugged James, that doesn't mean they're dating; especially when James' steadfast explanation that he doesn't date felt so truthful. She watches them, they don't do anything to confirm either of her suspicions but she sees that they are both just a little too comfortable around each other.

She ends up asking Dani about her and James when they are taking a shift together without James or Santana. The two of them are sat refilling the sauce dispensers together one day during their graveyard shift. James managed to get it off because as she's spent more time with him she's decided that he is too fucking charming, _she really needs to stop talking to James he's rubbing off on her, _who Gunther loves apparently and is the only one in the entire diner who re-arranges his schedule whenever. The rest of them are at Gunther's mercy and Santana had to make some crap to get the day off.

"So…." Rachel says with a smile. Dani looks up at her and smirks.

"You okay Rachel?" The blonde girl asks as she bites her lip.

"What's the deal with you and James?" Rachel has spent a last couple of weeks watching Dani and James together and how they interact.

She speaks to James several times, in fact she probably looks forward to speaking to him more than she should do but doesn't bring it up with him; I mean how do you ask someone who specifically explained why they don't date if they are dating? Rachel doesn't want to damage the friendship she has struck up with him either, because he's a good listener who puts up with her complaining about how life isn't fair and just stands there with an amused smile on his face.

Rachel can't help but think that James wouldn't lie to her, there was just _something _about him that made her trust whatever he told her. He honestly seems like an incredibly nice guy who she can easily see growing to become one of her best friends despite his protestations that he is just as bad as Brody. It's funny to watch him interact around some of the guys at the diner, he acts tough and manly but when he settles down to talk to her in the kitchen when it's quiet or she has a break; he turns into this caring guy that Rachel can't help but be smitten with.

"I don't understand" Dani asks with a frown. Rachel rolls her eyes; her observations have left her completely confused. Dani continues to flirt with Santana that makes her think that Dani is definitely a lesbian, but the way that she catches her and James holding hands at they walk to and from work or the way that he will hug her a little longer than Rachel would find appropriate for 'just friends'; or even the way that Dani will kiss his cheek several times throughout the day.

"Are you and James dating?" Rachel says gently.

Dani looks at her for a moment, a look of shock on her face that leaves Rachel wondering what the hell is going on until Dani starts giggling manically. Rachel finds it infectious despite how confused she is and can't help but smile at her while thinking in a way that would make James proud; _what the fuck is going on_

"Me and James?" Dani giggles when she managed to stop herself laughing. "Rachel, I'm a lesbian"

"Oh" Rachel says softly as her mouth makes an "O" shape. She feels the blush come across her face. "I thought you might be, not that there's anything wrong with it, but I wasn't sure; the way you act around James made me think…"

"I can see where you're coming from" Dani admits, an amused smile on her face. "But no, James and I aren't…but we're close"

"Do you mind if I ask about it?" Rachel asks quietly, not wanting to pray too much into their lives. "I've been speaking a lot with James but he doesn't really mention you much apart from the fact that you're friends"

"I don't mind telling you, but James is very protective of me" Dani replies, placing her hands on the table. "I'm probably the only real friend he is"

Rachel can't help but get a little bit offended about that; she'd like to think that she and James are friends now. Rachel pushes the jealously she feels aside as she speaks again; "So how do you know each other?"

"We're both from Boston" Dani says, sighing. "We've known each other since High School. He's a year older than I am but we've been friends since my freshmen year"

Rachel nods, James had told her that he was 22 but she'd never thought to ask Dani.

"We met my freshmen year…he was a sophomore and as you can imagine he was heavily involved in sports; he played football for the school team and of course that meant he was very popular at school" Dani explains and Rachel smiles, remembering how popular Finn and Puck were for Sophomore's thanks to the football team. "I was this dorky, outcast girl with a guitar. I got bullied a lot and didn't have many friends and there was this one time that I got slushied and I was crying in the auditorium"

Rachel remembers what that's like, the humiliation of getting slushied in the corridors that she can't help but feel sorry for Dani but also feel closer; knowing that the two of them are more similar than she thought.

"For some reason, James was there that day, walking past the auditorium by himself and he heard me. I felt this hand on my shoulder and he asked me if I was okay. I thought it was a joke at first, his moronic friends were the ones that did it to me, but I looked in his eyes and I could just see how truthful he was and how much he actually cared if I was okay" Dani says, letting a smile on her face; Rachel smiles back, knowing that feeling of trusting him completely. His eyes really were the most expressive she'd ever seen. "He cleaned me up, even gave me his Letterman jacket; I thought I'd fallen into an alternate reality but he took me to his house and made me hot chocolate"

"That's so sweet" Rachel can't help but mutter and Dani nods her head.

"He is…I thought that it'd just be a one day thing and things would go back to normal the next day but it came around and the first time he saw me the next morning he put his arm around my shoulder and walked me to class" Dani says with a smile.

"From that day on, he looked after me; took me under his arm. I asked him why and he said that he didn't know what it was; he just had to help me" Dani says and Rachel grabs her hand when she sees the tears in the girls eyes. "I never had to worry about getting picked on again, sure they tried for a few weeks but James would beat up whoever slushied me. He got in trouble and I asked him why he did it all; this time he told me just felt like he needed to protect me"

"So you became friends?" Rachel asks as Dani wipes her eyes.

"He was my first real friend and we spent all out time together from then on. Towards the end of my freshmen year… He was the first person I told about my sexuality." Dani continues. "I was scared about telling him…were we are from isn't the most liberal of places, but he just looked at me and nodded his head before he said; "That's who you are, I think its awesome" and then we just carried on as normal"

Rachel feels her own eyes welling with tears at the beauty of the gesture; feeling happy in her assertions that James really was a great guy.

"We became best friends, I was one of the only people he was himself around; where he didn't act like the touch jock and eventually in my sophomore year he told me the reason why he was at the auditorium that day." Dani says a smile on her as she remembers it.

"I thought it was just coincidence but he said it was was because he was playing the piano in one of the class rooms. We played music together; I taught him the guitar and he taught me how to play piano and even helped him with his voice; he was really bad back then, but now he's good" Dani giggles lightly as if remembering it.

"That's a beautiful story" Rachel replies smiling herself, sniffing back the tears. "You live with him now right?"

"Yeah, that was one of the saddest times when he graduated. I'd made a few friends thanks to him, but he was the person I was closest too"

"He graduated and headed to New York, his Dad paid for him to have an apartment in the city and I missed him terribly, but at least I wasn't alone, thanks to him I was more confident and had made more friends than before. After Christmas of my senior year, I told my parents about my sexuality and they kicked me out. But James was there for me and he insisted that I stay with his parents. He spoke to them and they were more than willing to let me, so I stayed there until I graduated"

"He sounds like a really nice guy" Rachel says without really thinking.

"He is" Dani replies smiling. "I don't go to college; I've never wanted to but he offered to convince his Dad to pay for it. I told him no, I wanted to come to New York and try to break out as an artist…so I moved in with James at his apartment and got a job working in a diner….then I got this job and he got one as well. That was two years ago and we've worked here ever since."

"He tries to act so tough, it's nice to know he has a soft side too" Rachel says with a smile, wiping her eyes on a paper towel.

"The soft side is what he's really like; who he really is" Dani replies, nodding at her. "He's not had the easiest time with people outside of his parents and me; so he tries to protect himself from getting hurt"

"Why?" Rachel asks, and almost instantly regrets it by the way Dani smile fades; she knows that something horrible happened to him. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have-"

"I can tell he trusts you…" Dani says non committedly and Rachel smiles at it. "His girlfriend who he'd been with for years in High school cheated on him with his brother"

"That's horrible" Rachel replies in shocked voice, "How could he do that to his own brother?"

Dani shrugs. "Scott is a fucking prick. He's a few years older than James and they've never really gotten on; James is the favourite son and he walked in on them when he came home from football. Her name was Natalie and they'd talked about moving to New York together; James was in love with her and it broke him"

Rachel nodded, imagining how horrible that must have been to be betrayed like that. It was horrible enough finding out what Brody had been doing when he was supposed to be with her.

"Ever since he's never let a girl get close; he doesn't let them get close" Dani says sadly and Rachel can tell she doesn't like James is now with girls.

"So he just gets drunk and sleeps around" Rachel asks, and she has to admit that it sounds stupid. His girlfriend cheated on him so he goes around having meaningless sex, but there's a part of her heart that aches for him; part of her that wants him to be happy. _Everyone deserves to be happy._

"He's caring guy to me and you; but I think he's just scared of getting hurt again"

Rachel smiles, the tears drying on her cheeks as Dani finishes her story and as they move onto Santana; she's determined to set them up now that she knows Dani is a lesbian. Rachel is touched by the story and she can't help but think that he's buried his way into her heart without him even trying to.

…

The next time she sees him, Rachel can't help but pull him into a tight hug as he walks in talking to Jon, one of the waiters there. He seems taken aback at first before he wraps his arms around her shoulders and holds her close to his body. Rachel doesn't know what it is, but she just feels like he deserves it; from the sound of things he doesn't get much care and affection from anyone but Dani and for whatever reason, Rachel feels like she wants to give it to him; feeling closer to him after hearing about him from Dani.

When they pull apart after a couple of minutes, he has an amused expression on his face as he asks her; "What's that for?"

Rachel smiles sheepishly as he moves a hand and brushes the hair out of her face as she says a single word; "Dani"

His eyes flash with recognition and a small smile sits on his face before he nods his head at her, squeezing her hand that she didn't even realize she had been holding. She finishes by telling him that she thinks he's great and if he ever needs to talk she'll be there for him, but they don't talk about it after that. Rachel can tell it meant the world to him, and it did to her as well, by the way he is particularly sweet to her from that moment on and Rachel knows that they're friends.

Rachel finds herself spending a lot more time with Dani and James over the next few weeks, James in particular. Her shifts have started to be changed up thanks to Gunther firing about four of the staff at the diner, so now she finds the times she works getting rotated around almost daily. She and Santana always seem to pass each other as one of them is finishing at the same time the other is starting and if she didn't have Dani and James, Rachel probably would have quit already.

The fact she doesn't get to see Santana at work anymore isn't the only time she's thought about giving up this job. It looked like she might have to quit the diner when it seemed Gunther wanted her working the graveyard shift during the week; while she wanted to be working and earning money, she didn't want to be doing it at the expense of her education. Gunther had been unmoving when she'd brought the fact she was attending college at the same time and told her to basically "Suck it up or Quit". She'd been fully prepared to quit when she spoke to James about it, telling him in quite uncharacteristically explicit terms exactly what she thought about their boss. James had laughed at her and she'd punched his shoulder, his attitude was passing off onto her.

The next time she'd come into work and Gunther had told her to thank her _fucking lapdog,_ what was it with everyone around her suddenly having verbal diahhrea?, because he wasn't going to force her to work the graveyard shift. Rachel frowned at him asking what he was talking about and he'd told her to go and speak to James, referring to him as what sounded like_fucking asshole_ as Gunther disappeared up the stairs to the apartment that sat above the diner. Confused, she'd gone to speak to James in the Kitchen who wore the biggest grin on his face as he told her that he spoke to Gunther and made sure she'd never have to work a graveyard shift unless she asked for one. Rachel had grinned at him before throwing her arms around his neck and enjoying the feeling of his arms around her, in particular his hands in the small of her back more than she probably should have done.

Santana loved to bring up the point that James was being incredibly sweet on her. Rachel dismissed it and said he's just a good friend, but she secretly loved the fact that they were getting closer. She spent her breaks with him during her shift, sitting on the counter in the kitchen as he worked. They talked about anything and everything, and he didn't seem to mind that she talked his ear off.

He listens to her, much like Finn used to but instead James actually listens; like remembers what she says to him and follows along in the conversation rather than just nodding his head aimlessly. She loves Finn but honestly after three years that was _fucking _infuriating.

...

She loves spending time with Dani and James are the diner, they're both genuinely kind people who she enjoys being around but James is probably the one who she finds herself seeing more often. They'll spend hours just talking to each other if they can get it alone and Rachel finds herself looking forward to their conversations more than anything else.

That's the only thing she doesn't like about James, he swears a lot. She's always prided her self on her exceptional vocabulary but she finds curse words sneaking in every now and then, particularly when she's around him but it's definitely happening when she isn't as well.

He opens up to her about his life, and even the more distasteful shit that he does; she ends up teasing him that he's a man whore.

She surprised that she doesn't make as big of a deal about the fact that he seems to spend at least three nights a week getting drunk and at least once a week telling her how he ended up waking up in some girl's bed and can't even remember her name as he ends up having morning sex with them. Rachel would have judged someone on doing stuff like that in High School, but with James she doesn't.

Rachel doesn't really want to imagine him fucking girls, but they're friends and she tries to make him feel better by telling him he isn't a bad person because of it; because honestly, he isn't. Sure he sleeps around but there are thousands of people that do that in New York and Rachel herself even wonders if she should be doing that. She knows that he's a nice guy, because if he really was a big of a prick as he seems to think he wouldn't feel as bad as he does.

Like she said, she finds herself swearing more and more; insisting upon telling him that he's a terrible influence on her. Rachel puts it down to some of his charm, a strange charm that isn't at all charming, that unless he's talking about something serious he tends to swear at least once a sentence and that makes her laugh mostly as she teases him about how he wants to have a serious job looking after very rich peoples money but can't stop himself from fucking saying the word fucking.

He shoots her his smirk, which she's beginning to notice makes him look incredibly handsome and she has to catch herself a couple of times from staring at him when he isn't looking because well, he's her friend and she can't be staring at friends like that. Still, it's very hard to not notice the fact that he's _fucking hot_ as she's heard a few girls describe him and maybe sometimes she thinks about what it would be like.

Rachel wondered if she should actually try out the whole one night stand business for herself, it doesn't sound that hard if she believed James; his experience is probably vastly different than many others due to the fact that he is so damn attractive and she's never really felt that way about herself. It ends up leaving her blushing when she thinks about it, but if she's honest the fact she hasn't had sex in a couple of months drives her pretty crazy and she definitely feels frustrated about it.

She dwells on this in particular one time when she's taking a bath after work; James had spent about an hour describing this girl that he had ended up sleeping with the night before. Despite the fact that he insisted to her that he doesn't like the whole one side of his life, he still ends up doing them on a pretty regular basis and Rachel finds herself more accepting of it than she would have thought. Alright she teases him about being a man whore but really, she just doesn't judge him. Still while she's washing herself, she wonders about how good James must be in bed; after all, his body looks to be incredible shape _with clothes on_ never mind when he's naked.

Her experience with men has been limited to Finn and Brody and honestly neither of them were particularly good at it. When she slept with Finn, they were both getting used to it and even though she did end up getting an orgasm from it; she doubted anybody would have wanted to watch a sex tape of the two of them together, both of them inexperienced trying to make it good for the other. They'd slept together on Valentines but that was influenced alcohol and a heavy feeling that something was off with her relationship with Brody.

Before she'd slept with Brody, she'd imagine it to be _erotic and hot _because of how attractive he was, but in the end it had been 'nice'; he'd managed to get her off but she probably wouldn't have paid him for it like those cougars he charged. Maybe that was the problem, he was good enough for the cougars that paid him to fuck them, but when it came to actually to pleasing a girl he had no fucking clue what to do.

Still, it'd been months since she'd actually done anything remotely sexual and simply thinking about it had her worked up. When she ended up snaking her hand between her legs to try deal with that throbbing she felt, well maybe she did think about what it would be like to be with James but she wasn't ever going to admit that to herself or anybody else.

….


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Rachel is pretty happy with herself. Alright her vocabulary is still taking a nose dive the more time she spends with James but honestly it doesn't even bother her; sure she has to actually remember and force herself to use real words but if the only bad thing that comes out of her friendship with James is the fact she uses the word "fuck" a lot then she's perfectly fine with that. He's a brilliant friend and she loves that he'll practically drop whatever he's doing if she needs him.

She'd spent a lot of time with him, the two of them planning on setting Dani and Santana up on a date and she'd be surprised at first about the fact that he seemed to be willing to participate. After what Dani had told her about James' over protectiveness, when Rachel had gone to him she had expected him to tell her to leave Dani alone and not interfere but instead he had been more than willing to help her set up the two girls.

Apparently he'd let her in and trusted her completely; which was something that Rachel loved having. Once you got past his exterior and managed to get close to him he turned out to be an amazing friend. The first time she realises this is when she ends up working late at the diner and its pitch black outside when she finishes. James apartment that he shares with Dani is in the city, but he can tell that she's panicking about walking to catch the subway in the dark, not even to mention that fact she'd have to on it to go to her dodgy neighbourhood; so what does he does? He insists on walking her to the subway and then actually getting on it with her and walking with her to her apartment.

The embarrassed side of her tries to tell him at the diner that she doesn't need him to do it and then again at the subway when he doesn't leave her. Part of her wants to prove to him that she doesn't need his help but then he just looks at her and tells her to _shut up its not even that big of a fucking deal_ and she can't help but think he's the most amazing friend in the world and maybe she holds onto his arm a little tighter because she's touched by the gesture; maybe the smile that sits on her face as she walks with him is because she really likes him and she's glad that he's come into her life. Maybe she'd tell anyone that mentions any of it to her to shut the fuck up because she doesn't really care about what anyone else thinks.

….

Operation "Dantana" gets launched a couple of days later after a meeting in the Kitchen at the diner when it's only Rachel and James working. They seem to be getting shifts together more and Rachel doesn't even really care much because right now she's just enjoying being able to just talk with a guy that she enjoys spending time without worrying if he's just playing her or if there's going to be any drama come up and ruin things. The fact that James doesn't date makes things easier in that regard and she's sure as hell never going to meet any of the girls that he has one night stands with so it makes being friends with him just easy.

She's learnt more about him, stuff that she knows he's only shared with Dani before her; everything just feels good between them and she knows that James is someone who she can trust completely. One of the benefits of being practically a brother to Dani is that he knows when she likes a girl and he assures her that Dani is _totally fucking hot _over Santana and it should be easy to get them together. True to form as a big brother, he employs the renowned teasing technique to push her towards actually asking Santana out. The only issue he says is that Dani is really shy about these and sure the blonde girl knows how to flirt but she's only ever had one real girlfriend and that was doomed due to the fact that Dani is so close to James.

Rachel finds out that Dani's girlfriend pretty much made an ultimatum that she wanted to stay with Emma then she needed to tell James to back off; which Rachel isn't surprised to find out basically ended up with Emma being shown the door and told to fuck off. James tells her that he feels bad it happened and had asked Dani if she wanted him to back off only to be met with a stone walled answer that he was her best friend and brother so if any girl had a problem with that then they could off because nothing comes between them. Rachel had a sneaky feeling that while James doesn't' date girls he fucks them, if he did find someone who he'd be willing to put his heart back on the line for then he would be as defiant and protective as Dani had been. Rachel finds herself thinking that it's a perfectly fine thing for them to do considering how close they were. She also finds herself thinking that hypothetically she wouldn't have a problem with how close Dani and James are, because she knows that he would be loving boyfriend. She might think about that scenario in a non-hypothetical way from time to time.

Their plan is fucking genius Rachel thinks smugly to herself when she sees Dani and Santana walking hand in hand through the doors of the diner on one of the rare occasions where they all have a shift together. She can't herself from running into the kitchen before they see her grinning like an idiot and squealing as she throws her arms around James' neck. Alright, maybe she's just a little too excited that her first attempt at matchmaking has apparently been a success and it's definitely a little bit excessive to barge in on James' conversation with Max by practically jumping at him. Screw it, she's proud of herself and James gives the best fucking hugs imaginable.

"Hello to you too Rach" He says laughing when she lets him go a few moments later; but not after enjoying the way he holds her close. "Normally I have to buy girls a couple of drinks before they throw themselves at me like that"

"Fuck you" She replies giggling at him. She's learned enough about him now to know that he only makes these jokes when there are other guys around, his cocky side coming out to hide the fact that he's sweet. Once she managed to understand the difference in what most people see of him and what she and Dani can see him like, it made it easy to see why he's so protective of not only himself but Dani as well; how scared he is of showing anything the rest of the world can exploit. That's why doesn't care that his more abrasive side that has to show off comes out when other people are around. "Come look"

"I'm busy Rach" He complains and she just rolls her eyes at him and cuts him off

"Shut up and come with me ass-hole" The way he smirks at her and squeezes her hand tells her that he's prouder than he should be of the fact that she swears more than she used to; as if he's happy that he's corrupting her.

"Whatever, lead the way you crazy b" Both him and Max laugh as she jabs him in the chest before pulling him by his hand towards the service hatch and gestures for him to look through "What am I looking at? Oh…."

"Exactly" She says as they look at each other and share a knowing smile and before she knows it he's offering her his fist for her to bump. Giggling she clenches her own and bumps it against his as he chuckles. "We're awesome"

"We're fucking amazing babe" He smirks at her and she can't help the grin that appears on her face at the affectionate nickname but who cares about that, it sounds so good coming out of his mouth that she just hugs him again. There's one thing that she never feels around James and that's uncomfortable.

….

"So like you two are dating yeah?" James asks as they are sat around in the bushwick apartment. It was a couple of days after the hand holding incident and Rachel been pretty smug since seeing it. Santana had invited Dani over for dinner with them and apparently Dani had been able to convince as James put it, _force _as Rachel corrected him while saying he was full of shit, to come with them. So it was the five of them lounging around on the two couches they had watching a film together.

"Yeah we are why" Santana replies, pausing in her process of eating a dorito and looking at him with suspicious eyes. Rachel bites her lip knowing that the suspicion is probably for good measure considering how much James enjoys teasing them all, _especially _Santana since he found out the latina can give as good as she gives. It's been a source of amusement watching the two of them the last week or so when they've all hung out; much better than cable TV.

"I was just wondering" He shrugs, a slight smirk on his face and Rachel knows he's not done. "When you two plan on having sex"

_Yep here it comes the fucking asshole_ Rachel thinks to herself, her eyes widening as she watches the other Dani and Kurt freeze to look at him.

"Let me know and I'll make sure to pretend to not be listening. 'cus you two are hot and I wouldn't mind listening to you getting your fucking groove on" He finishes and starts laughing at the look Dani is shooting him; Rachel and Kurt join him because honestly its fucking hilarious how much he teases them and sure its probably inappropriate but that's just James; he reminds her of Noah a lot but they all love him for it.

"I'm seriously going to cut you in your sleep" Dani remarks shaking her head as she reaches and finds Santana's hand to squeeze. Rachel can't help but let out a little "aww" at the gesture, because its seriously sweet.

"Dan, it's a joke; relax" He says; to his credit, he's actually not wearing a smirk or a smile, he looks sincere.

"It's a good job I love you" Dani replies and James shoots her a wink.

"Seriously, I'm really glad you two have finally realised what the rest of us saw about three fucking weeks ago" He says, picking up his glass of wine and gesturing to them. "Congratulations"

"Thanks" Santana says taking a sip of her own. She shakes her head slightly, but Rachel can see that amused smile that tells her Santana likes it really.

"What about you James, any girls you're interested in dating?" Kurt asks next to her and Rachel gulps as she gazes over at him and sees that familiar blank expression that he puts on every time something like this gets mentioned. She feels awful for him, because she knows exactly why he hates it.

"Sure" She's a little surprised and that answer and looks over at James to see a smile on his lips. "But it means giving up my glamorous lifestyle as a, what was it you called me Rachel?"

"A manwhore" She supplies rolling her eyes at him; she hates it when he pretends to be upset about her teasing him. "And don't act like it upsets you because I know you love it."

He shrugs at her with that stupid handsome smirk on his face, swallowing his wine before speaking again; "Speaking of manwhores, how's that douchebag ex of yours; is he giving you any shit because I'd love to kick his ass"

Rachel giggles at him. "No he isn't and I don't want you kicking his ass"

"Shame" He replies, shrugging his shoulders. "Let me know if you change your mind"

"I will" She smiles back at him, raising her glass to her lips. She's got a feeling that even if she asked him in two year's time, he would still happily track Brody down for her. Yep, she was pretty glad that she had James in her life.

...

"I'm ready for fucking bed" James says as he appears next to her at the counter. She turns her head and smiles at him before looking back at the magazine she was reading. "What's that you're reading?"

"List of Auditions" She replies. "Since apparently the Funny Girl producers have forgotten all about me, I'm preparing to spend the time from now until the end of summer auditioning for anything and everything"

"They haven't forgotten about you, they're probably just deciding how to tell the others that they've this fucking amazing hot Jewish girl and that they best just fuck off back to whatever cave they crawled out from" He says smirking at her and she can't help but burst out laughing. "Don't laugh, I'm serious"

"You're sweet" She says, touching his arm and rubbing her thumb across his skin. "But it's okay, as much as I wanted to play Fanny Brice there's plenty of other roles out there for me"

"Don't give up, you're amazing Rach alright" He replies nudging her shoulder with his. "Besides if they don't want you then it's their loss; fuck 'em their show will be crap without you"

"It means a lot that you believe in me" She says squeezing his arm before moving it away again.

"It's easy to believe in you; I've heard you sing and you're fucking unbelievable" He replies and Rachel smile brightens. He knows exactly what to say to cheer her up, sure it might be profanity ridden but its sweet and she appreciates it. "Hey look"

Rachel follows his gaze and she turns her head to look at him; James is smiling as well at the fact Dani and Santana are sat close together on the small stage in the diner as Dani starts playing _"Here comes the sun"_

It's beautiful watching them sing together as they get completely lost in one another; she can see that the two girls care about each other as they sing only to each other, ignoring the fact that they're in a diner with about ten other people. She glances at James about halfway through and she sees the tears in his eyes as he watches his best friend; reaching out she takes his hand in hers, when he gazes back at her they share a smile. Rachel loves seeing this side of him, the caring person that he would try his best to have you believe doesn't exist but still manages to finds it way to show itself around her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Rachel was with Dani over at Dani and James' apartment. The two of them were sat on the beautiful black leather couch watching his 40' TV. She enjoyed spending time with Dani, the two girls getting along with each other extremely well and when Dani had invited her over, Rachel couldn't help but accept. She knew that Dani shared the apartment with James but she honestly hadn't expected it to be such an impressive one. It was located in Manhattan and when the door had opened and she saw inside, the words "holy crap" had instinctively fallen from her mouth; causing Dani to smirk and tell her that she was spending too much time with James.

Blushing, Rachel had followed her in and gotten a tour. She'd expected the apartment so be similar to the one she lived in bushwick but apparently she underestimated how much money James' Dad had. It was a large open plan living area, that itself looked to be as big as her entire apartment; where she could see a well furnished kitchen, there was a bookshelf across the far wall with a large bay window that looked out into the city. There was a glass kitchen table that seats six people near to a large black leather couch and two chairs that surrounded a large flat screen tv.

"You seem surprised?" Dani had asked with a smile on her face. "Not what you expected?"

"I didn't…James' Dad is really rich huh?" She had smirked, placing her bag down on the table as she walked over to the stereo and glanced at the collection of records that were there.

"Yeah he is" Dani replied, nodding. "You should see their house in Boston. It's like a mansion"

Rachel eyebrows rose and she nodded. She had to think about why James even bothered working at the diner; he had told her about his investment banker father who had paid for this apartment, but she hadn't appreciated the extent of his wealth until she saw the apartment that he had paid for his son to live in while at college in New York. When she had seen him outside of work, he didn't seem to dress in particular expensive designers labels, he wore jeans and shirts that would be typical of any college student. Aside from the expensive watch that she had noticed on his wrist, his appearance fit in with the fact that she was discovering he was an average, modest guy that almost seemed to want to hide he came from money.

"Want to take a peak in his room?" Dani smirked, wiggling her eyebrows and Rachel couldn't help but giggle.

"No I don't want to invade his privacy…." She replied, chewing her bottom. Honestly she was curious to look at the place where he slept. You can tell a lot about a person by how they keep their room and she imagined it to be covered in posters of girls and rock bands. While he was a kind, caring guy around her and Dani; his behaviour when he wasn't with them, such as his drinking and well, promiscuous activities, Rachel imagined that his room would reflect his attempt at a rock star lifestyle.

"Come on, you think you're the first girl to see his room?" Dani laughed, gesturing her over as they headed over to the brown wooden door. Rachel blushed at that comment, but followed Dani and took a breath before she stepped in. Her eyebrows rose subconsciously at what she saw. There wasn't any of the things she had been expecting, instead an almost peace and tranquil environment that just made Rachel feel calm as she stood in the doorway. Three of the walls were painted in a baby blue and one wall was white. It was kept tidy and everything seemed to be organized. There was a door that was open showing an en-suite bathroom, a desk where a computer sat. On her right next to the door was a large double bed that had Rachel blushing again she thought about him sleeping in that bed and well doing _other _activities. S

"Not what you expected again?" Dani had laughed, and Rachel looked away from the bed; glad that Dani had distracted her as her thoughts wondered towards if she could sleep in that bed, the thought a lot more desirable than she expected it to be.

"I was sort of expecting it to be covered in rock band posters and everything just lying about untidily." Rachel giggled, rubbing her neck subconsciously.

"James is the tidy one, he likes everything to be organized…I'm the messy one" Dani replied laughing gently. "You better come look at my room if you want any of those things"

"I'm sure it's that bad" Rachel said softly trying to be reassuringly. Holy crap, those words couldn't have been any further from the truth. Dani's room was a fucking tip that Rachel didn't even think was possible. Dani had laughed as Rachel tried to compliment it, leading her to the third bedroom and showing her which doubled as James' weight room as well as Dani's music room. There was a drum kit in there as well as a couple of amps.

…

After being shown round, they had made some snacks and settled on the couch together as they watched the TV. This activity of watching soap's together had been her favourite that she'd shared with Dani. While she enjoyed hanging out with Kurt, after all he was her best friend but there wasn't something just nice about spending time with other girls. It was probably due to the fact Rachel hadn't had many female friends during high school, at least until the end of senior year; she certainly hadn't spent any serious amount of time together.

They were sat together talking about anything and everything for about an hour before the topic to switched to their ex's. Dani asked gently about Brody and if he had been bothering her, noticing that James had brought it up when they were at the bushwick apartment the week before. Rachel didn't mind talking about it, when she first started being friends with James; she had told him about her relationship with Finn and how that had led to her breaking up with Brody. He had been really considerate and sweet towards her and had hugged her when she'd been close to tears; mad at herself that she had almost broken down in fucking tears in front of him, expecting him to tell her to man up but instead he had been surprisingly comforting.

That conversation led to her telling Dani about Finn and her other high school relationships. The girl was equally as understanding and comforting and Rachel felt her heart warm at having a friend she could talk to about these things; one that didn't know the boy she had almost married.

"What about you?" Rachel asked, twirling a strand of her a hand between her fingers. "Any relationships with boys before you came out?"

"Not really, I was unpopular in high school" Dani shrugged. "The only guy I've ever kissed is James and Oh my god that was so embarrassing"

Rachel eyes widened as she heard that. "What?"

"It was when I moved here after High School, we got really drunk and ended up making out for about five minutes before we both realised what was happening and then we both started laughing" Dani giggled, covering her face with her hand.

"But you're…you know" Rachel asked, her gut clenching at the thought.

"Come on, I'm a Lesbian but I can appreciate when a guy is attractive" Dani shrugged her shoulders, chewing her bottom lip. "I knew it during High School, but I certainly did when we started living together and he'd walked around the house without his top off. Alcohol makes you do stupid things"

"Yeah, I imagine that would be hard to ignore" Rachel murmured, catching herself as she thought about what it would be like to see him topless…he looked so…._no stop fucking thinking about that you stupid – _"So, aside from a drunk make out with James; any girl relationships?"

"There was one girl….Tiffany" Dani replied, taking a drink of her wine. "But it never got serious…it was just a quick fling. Happily a one life relationship girl, I really like Santana and I want it to last"

"I'm sure you two will stay together; you're really cute" Rachel smiled, "I'm sorry she had to work tonight"

The two girls got on well, Rachel knew that Dani and Santana's relationship was getting more serious. Rachel couldn't help but feel proud of the fact that she was involved in getting them together.

"It's alright, I've been spending every day of the last couple of weeks with her" Dani shrugs, smiling back. "Besides, I don't think Santana shares our love of soap opera's"

"True" Rachel giggles. Settling back, she rested against the arm rest and sighed. "I like spending time with you; such a nice change from spending time with Kurt, Santana and James"

"Please you love spending time with James" Dani laughed and Rachel gulped slightly. Well it was true, she did love spending time what the asshole, perhaps more than she probably should do. "But I get what you mean, its nice just to have girl time you know?"

"Yeah I do" Rachel nodded, taking a sip of her glass of wine. Licking her lips as she swallowed, the sweet fruity taste was perfect. "This is really good wine"

That was another benefit of being friends with James; he had really good fucking choice in wine as he proudly proclaimed to her. there was a rack in the kitchen and far as Rachel could tell it was full of expensive bottles. Knowing a drinker like James was apparently a really good way to get to drink wine she would definitely not be able to afford when she made fuck all money after paying her rent.

"One good thing about living with James. He's a fucking pain in the ass but he has excellent taste wine" Dani replied smirking as she nodded her head; raising her glass in a mock toast. "To James; the best alcoholic that we know"

Rachel giggled, leaning over and softly tapping her glass against Dani's before taking a sip with a smile on her lips. A couple of minutes passed as Rachel chewed her lip before she spoke again; "Where is he anyway?"

"James?" Dani asked and she nodded her head in reply. "Where is he normally after class? Drinking with his idiot friends and trying to chat up some drunken slutty chick"

Rachel smiles, trying to keep the frown of her face at what Dani had said. She didn't have the right to tell her not to speak about James like that; after all Dani had known James longer than she had, but there just was a part of her that wanted to jump to his defence, she knew he really wasn't as big of a fuck up as he tried to be and to hear Dani describe him as one made her more than just a little bit upset than she'd like to admit.

Luckily, Rachel didn't have to say anything because Dani's phone rang a few seconds later.

"Speak of the Devil" Dani smirked before pressing accept on the phone call. "Hey we were just talking about you"

"Me and Rachel" Dani replied down the phone. "Yeah she's here with me why"

Rachel chewed her lip to stop the embarrassing look from crossing her face at knowing he had asked about her.

"Shut it asshole, I have a girlfriend" Dani said rolling her eyes and Rachel giggled, imagining what sort of fucking inappropriate comment the asshole had made about them. "I thought you were out with Cobi?"

Rachel recognized the name, it was James' best male friend and the one that James spent a lot of time out with when he wasn't her or Dani. "You hungry, Rachel?"

"Ummm, yeah why?" Rachel asks

"Because dickhead wants to know if you want anything to eat from that Thai place on 43rd." Dani asks,

"Sure, some rice and vegetables would be awesome" Rachel replies smiling.

"Yeah you heard? Alright, just the normal for me" Dani said, biting her nail. "Yeah whatever, fuck you asshole…alright see you in a little bit"

"He's on his way home? I thought you said he was out drinking?" Rachel asked, moving her finger around the top of her wine glass.

"He never tells me where he goes, just "I'm going to be home late" so I assume he means he's out drinking" Dani replies shrugging.

"It's nice of him to offer to bring us some food back" Rachel says smiling, honestly its touching that he called to ask; quite clearly not the inconsiderate asshole that he pretends he is.

Twenty minutes later and they heard the door of the apartment opening followed by James voice as he appeared in the open living area. Rachel rolled her eyes as she heard him; "Yeah don't worry girls, don't bother jumping up; I'll fucking let myself, you two just sit on your fucking asses"

"You didn't ring the bell , so shut it dick" Dani replied standing up and making her way over to the kitchen. Rachel bit her lip as she followed he over.

"Hey Rach" He says and she can't help but give him a quick hug as he stands there smiling at her. So what, she likes hugs.

"Hey" Rachel replies as they separate and her smile can't help but grow as she looks up at him. "Thanks for the food, Dani thought you were out tonight?"

"Nah, study group" He says, taking the food out of the plastic bag. "then I hit the gym for a couple of hours"

"You. Study group?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow sceptically.

"Haha. Fuck you princess" He replies smirking at her. "Told you before babe, I'm not just a pretty face"

"That's good because your face isn't even that pretty"

"Fuck off" he replies. "I didn't go to the effort of bringing you some fucking food just to get it thrown in my face Dani"

"Well, I appreciate that you did. Thank you" Rachel interrupts them, leaning up and pressing a kiss against his cheek; blushing as her lips leave his cheek and she sees him smirking.

"Don't worry about it Rach, anything for you" He says with a wink that has her smiling again. He really does have the most handsome smile. "See Dani, at least Rachel has some fucking manners"

"Whatever ass kisser" Dani says rolling her eyes.

The next couple of hours pass by quickly as the three of them sit together on the couch, with James quite happy to sit himself down in between the two of them. In fact, he gets a bit too comfortable and at one point throws an arm around her shoulder as they sit watching TV; okay so maybe Rachel really likes it and maybe she even leans into his side so she can rest her head against his shoulder. So whatever, she's enjoying cuddling with him pointedly ignoring the amused look Dani is giving them and instead focusing on the fact that his hand gently rubbing her arm is relaxing as fuck.

….

They spend the next couple of hours talking as just the three of them; she'd having such a good time laughing and just generally enjoying their company, the two of them are both incredibly good people who just enjoys hanging out with a fuckton. The time passes by so quickly when shes talking to them that when she glances at the clock, she realises that its almost one in the morning and she has a fuckign shift at work in the morning; seriously, Gunther can fuck off giving her Saturday shifts.

"Fuck" She says standing up from the couch, her body subconsciously whining at the loss of his arm around her shoulder, as she heads over and gets her bag.

"Where you going Rach?" Dani asks frowning in confusion.

"It's almost one, _fuck. _She says, checking she has everything. "Thanks both of you for the amazing night but I really have to go"

"Where do you thinking you're fucking going" She hears James voice behind her as she turns to see him walking towards her.

"I need to go home" She repeats, shaking her head at him.

"No fucking way you're walking to the subway" She rolls her eyes as he says it to her firmly. He's too protective.

"I'll be fine, really" She tries to insist but he doesn't have it, just shaking his head.

"No, it won't; you're not walking to the fucking subway after 1am" James says keeping his hold on her hand that she doesn't even try to fight.

"I need to go home" She replied, smirking at him; he's cute when he gets worked up. "Unless you're planning on paying for a cab?"

"You can fucking stay here, duh" He says rolling his eyes. "You can sleep in my bed"

Rachel eyes almost pop out their sockets as he says that. Alright she might have been thinking about crawling into his bed and seeing how comfy is was earlier, but she is not comfortable with sharing a bed with him. "I can't share a bed with you"

"It's pretty fucking hot that you thought that, but don't get any ideas babe" He says smirking at her. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"if you're sure" she says, chewing her lip as she tries to force the blush from her face.

"I'm fucking sure that there's no way in hell I'm letting you go all the way out to fucking Bushwick at 1 in the fucking morning" He says turning his back on her, "I washed my sheets this morning so don't even try and say that they are dirty. You can sleep in one of my shirts, take whichever I don't care"

"Thank you" She replies, pressing a kiss against his cheek again as he hands her a white dress shirt that is much to fancy for her to wear to bed but she's not going to complain about it; he's being really cute and protective of her and she can't help that her heart beats a little faster.

"Don't worry about it babe, it's cool" He replies, squeezing her shoulder. "Sleep tight"

A few minutes later and Rachel was lying in his bed pulling the covers up around her, a smile sitting on her face. His bed was comfy and she couldn't help but wriggle and snuggle closer into the pillow. As she closed her eyes, her smile widened as she breathed in that safe, welcoming aroma that was unmistaken his.

The next morning was just a little bit awkward. All three of them had shifts at the diner on that Saturday and so when her alarm went off at six, Rachel felt herself almost falling back asleep as she turned over in James bed. It was very comfortable and she couldn't remember getting as good of a nights rest while she had been in New York. Grabbing his dressing gown, which she probably shouldn't have but she felt way to relaxed to care, she slipped it over her body and headed out into the apartment.

She smiled as she saw James stood in the kitchen area with his back to her as he was speaking on the phone.

"Yeah, could you bring her a dress to work." Rachel smile only widened as she heard him talking about her. He was so thoughtful, it was hard not to adore him; the charming bastard. "I wasn't going to let her fucking walk in the dark to the subway, yeah aight cheers Tana"

"Morning" She said softly as he hung the phone up. He turned around and smiled widely at her. Rachel tried to hide the blush at the tight t-shirt he was wearing because well she could everything that good as about his body.

"Hey Rach, did you sleep well?" He asks moving over to the coffee pot. "Coffee?"

"Please" She replies, chewing her lip. "And your bed is very soft; so yes I did"

"It's pretty great huh" He says with a smirk.

She rolls her eyes at him, smirking as she moves to stands next to him. "Thank you for letting me use one of your shirts to sleep in"

"Don't worry, it looks better on you" He says smiling sweetly at her.

They're joined by Dani a few later and after eating James' cereal while he sits there cursing her for abusing his hospitalility the three of them head off to work. She almost laughs when he offers her his arms, happily treading hers through his as they walk to the diner. Everything with James always felt good, there was never any awkwardness between them; it was nice to have a friendship were there were she just acted however she wanted. Rachel couldn't help but smile at the fact that waking up in his bed, seeing him make her coffee; it all felt so normal.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Rachel's in a terrible mood when she turns up at the diner for her shift. Waltzing in she barely acknowledges it when Tom and Jenny greet her as she marches through the diner, happily noting that it seems to be quiet and if it's quiet at 8pm on a Friday night then she won't have to worry about it being busy at all during her shift.

Frowning furiously, she pushes the double doors to the kitchen open, stomping her feet as she throws her bag down on the side before folding her arms across her chest as she slumps against the counter.

Yes she knows she just made a scene and there's probably several customers and even some of the diner staff wondering what the fuck her problem is; she probably looked ridiculous doing it as well, but Rachel always make an entrance and when she's pissed off well she makes a dramatic one at that.

She glares at James for several moments as he seems oblivious to her, his heads sneaking a look through the small service hatch at something out in the diner. She hates the bastard right now, he knows she's upset; fuck sake he must have seen her storm in version of the _Rachel Berry storm out _she mastered in high school.

"Well?" She says angrily, still glaring at him. That got his attention at least as he turns his head and looks at her, a smirk appearing on his face as he takes her posture in. _Asshole _"Don't smirk at me"

"What the fuck is your problem" He replies, laughing at her softly that makes her frown at him even deeper.

"I don't like it when people ignore me" She says, jutting her bottom lip out in what she hopes is pout but realises probably makes her look even more ridiculous right now with the angry glare on her face. She just wants him to ask her what's wrong; she needs someone to just sit there, shut up and listen to her complain; it's been one of those weeks where Cassie has started being a bitch to her again in class, not to mention what happened today and he just happens to be the best one at sitting there and shutting the fuck up when she needs him to.

"I don't like it when people come in here to fucking shout and glare at me either so tough fucking luck princess" He says, folding his arms across his own chest as he raises an eyebrow to stare back at her. Rachel rolls her eyes, she hates it when he tries to take her on; he's good at sitting there and shutting the fuck up but he's good at getting her to shut the fuck up as well. Honestly she loves it, she's found someone who doesn't take her crap.

She isn't in the mood to have an argument about which one of them is the best at being stubborn, not that he'd win anyway; all she has to do is smile sweetly at him and he'll give up, yeah she discovered that a couple weeks ago and has probably used it a few more times than she should have but she knows he thinks she's cute.

James hasn't been working since Monday and she's missed him more than she'd like to admit, he might be an asshole but he's a good listener; texting him isn't the same. So she pretty much just wants to bitch to him about her shit week, so she uses the other method of getting to him; look upset. He hates it when she gets upset and will guaranteed want to cheer her up. This time it isn't not even play acting, she actually is upset and when she let her angry glare fade to be replaced by the puppy eyes and _I'm about to break into tears _look that she'd been holding in since she left NYADA; she isn't surprised to see his own face lose the glare.

"Come here" He says softly, opening his arms to her and she sniffs before running over to him and falling into his embrace, wrapping hers around his waist and pressing her head into his chest as his arms secure themselves around her.

This has become a benefit of their friendship that she enjoys the most, being able to cuddle with him; because his arms feel so good around her, probably much more than they should but she can't help but want him to holder her; he makes her feel protected and safe as if nothing could ever hurt her. Rachel feels a little bit like Dani sounded when she described how James was one of the only people she felt safe around. She stands there crying into his shirt for a few minutes, one of his hands gently rubbing her back while he rests his cheek against the top of her head.

"You want to tell me what's go you upset, babe?" He murmurs softly and it makes her smile just a little bit. That term of endearment slipped in a couple of weeks ago and he's only used it a couple time since mostly when has been teasing her. If she's honest she doesn't mind him calling her babe one bit. Maybe she should stop him from calling it her, in case someone gets the wrong idea but it just feels so comfortable to hear him call it her and it seems he likes it as well. There a lot closer now than they had 5 weeks ago and she feels more comfortable around him than anyone she knows in New York.

"douchebag" She mutters, sniffing back tears and she hears him let out a sigh as he tightens his embrace on her. She knows he understands she's talking about Brody, that's the name that James gave him because well Brody is a huge fucking douchebag and it's become their little inside joke to refer to him as that whenever he comes up; not that he does come up a lot but she knows James will remember, because despite what Dani said about him not getting close to anybody new in years, he's apparently more than willing to get close to her he remembers everything that she tells him.

"What did the fucking dickhead do" He replies, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. "Do I need to find him and kick the shit out of him?"

Rachel giggles and tightens her hold on his waist; he always knows how to make her smile when she's sad or even when she's just not smiling, James will always say the right thing to bring her beaming smile out. Yes she's aware that she probably has a small crush on him as Kurt and Santana like to tease her about when they're alone; both of them noticing how much she likes him, but fuck she's allowed to feel that way about someone who treats her how James does.

"If you want" She says, turning her so that she's resting the side of her head against his chest, his heart beating against her ear as she smiles. James has offered to beat Brody up a couple of times when she's told him about her ex and both times she's refused him, but this time she actually wouldn't mind if that douchebag got beat up.

"Rach…" James says seriously, and she feels him release her a couple of seconds before he nudges her chin with his soft hands. Rachel sighs and lets him cup her face as she looks up at him through her eyelashes. "What happened?"

"He's sleeping with one of my friends" Rachel says disgusted. "Her name's Mia and I found out the other day….I warned her about Brody and what….how he makes money"

"Right" James asks, though Rachel can't help but notice the way he clenches jaw slightly as if he already realises what she's about to say. Trying to stop the look of repulsion that crosses her face as she thinks about that afternoon, she starts explaining.

"I went to her dorm and explained….when I finished she started laughing at me" Rachel says, sniffing to stop the tear that tries to roll down her cheek. "Apparently Brody told her that I might try and make something like that up; that I was a…."

"What did he call you" James asks quietly and she presses a kiss against his chest through the shirt he was wearing to try and calm him down; she knows that when he's angry he speaks quietly before he goes off on one and that's not something she wants him to do. Alright she might have been semi-serious when she told him he could beat Brody up if he wanted to, but that might not have been the best idea because James angry is not something she ever wants to witness if what Dani told her is correct. "Rach…"

"He called me a fucking whore" Rachel admits, frowning again and shaking her head. "He said that I was the one who fucked a bunch of guys behind his back and he broke up with me"

Rachel knew that she'd hurt Brody by sleeping with Finn when they were supposed to be together, but judging by what he'd been doing behind her back she couldn't fucking believe how much of an asshole he was being. She'd thought they'd reached an agreement were they'd break up and he wouldn't bother her anymore in exchange for her not telling the entire school that he's a fucking gigolo. Now he goes doing this? What a fucking dickhead she thinks to herself, yes alright that's probably the angry Rachel that's spent too much time around James the last few weeks but still she fucking hates him right now.

"He fucking what?" James exclaims angrily, his eyes wide and his face slightly red. Honestly if he wasn't the caring, kind guy that she knew, she'd be a lot more worried right now; he actually looked like he'd do some real damage if Brody was in the same room "Tell me where the fuck his dorm is, I'm going to fucking kill him"

"No, no, no, no!" She murmurs quickly, moving her hands and placing them on his cheeks, forcing his head down to look at her. She looks at him with them pleading eyes that she knows always get him, mostly because he told her to stop using those _fucking cute ass puppey dog eyes _on him when she wanted to go out and get some Thai food one night he came with Dani and Santana for a musical night at their bushwick apartment last week. "James don't be angry-"

"Don't be angry" He said, adding a laugh that did nothing to break the anger she could see in him. "Rach, he called you a- I can't even fucking say it; how can he call you that, the dirt bag"

"I know, I know" She says softly, looking at him reassuringly. "Please"

"Shit Rachel, I mean _Shit; _you expect me to not do anything when you come here crying your fucking eyes out? Shit babe" He says and she can tell now that he's calmed down a smidge, that he's upset. Okay, maybe telling him about what Brody had called her while she was still upset wasn't the best move; who wouldn't want to kick the shit out of a guy who made a girl cry, guys hate it when girls cry; they hate it even more when its because they've been slandered.

"I just need you to hold me and tell me I'm not a whore" She admits, feeling tears run down her cheeks again as she looks up at him and she sees his eyes go through the wheel of emotions. He looks angry about what Brody called her, upset about how she's been crying in his arms and finally affection for her as wraps his arms around her, leaning down to press his forehead against hers. It's an intimate gesture, and honestly a few weeks ago she might have been uncomfortable with it but not with him, not now, they'd bonded too much for ti to be awkward or uncomfortable. Hell, plenty of times she'd happily wrap an arm around his waist and lean into his side as they stood talking; he was her friend.

She sighs and closes her eyes for a second, enjoying the sensation of his fingers gently ghosting over her shoulders, softly relaxing her, reassuring her that he's here for her whenever she needs him.

"You aren't a…"He says, cutting off before the word and she opens up her eyes again to watch him try and finish his sentence, smiling when he shakes his head; not able to bring himself to call her that. "Fuck that asshole, he doesn't know shit"

Rachel giggles as he laughs, his hands squeezing her shoulders as a smirk makes it way on his face. Rachel bites her lip before smiling as she says; "Fuck him"

James smirk grows on his face and he nods his head against hers before he speaks again. "Trust me, babe, you're better than he is. I hope you told your friend that she's a fucking dumb bitch for sleeping with him. Fuck them both"

Rachel laughs again, because well she did call Mia a dumb bitch; in fact her exact words were _I hope you catch something from your slut of a boyfriend you dumb fucking bitch. _"You're a bad influence on me"

James laughs and she can feel his chest vibrating as he does; the sight of him smiling that handsome smile of his again makes her feel better as he pulls her closer. "I'm the best fucking influence you're ever had; At least you're standing up for yourself"

"Thank you" Rachel murmurs softly, smiling up at him. He shrugs his shoulders in the way he does when he tries to say it's no big deal but isn't quite modest enough for the words to escape his mouth. Honestly he might have her swearing more than she used to but it's true, being around James has done wonders to her self-confidence, much like being with Finn in High school senior year did; she doesn't feel like she has to take crap from anyone. Having someone listen to you and look at you like you're the most important that's ever talked to him just does something to you.

When he goes to release her and move away from her Rachel stops him by placing a hand against his chest, gulping before just doing what feels right; she leans up and presses a kiss against his lips.

She doesn't know what possessed her to do it but in that moment she feels especially close to him and it just feels natural to do it. It's not a passionate _I want you _type of kiss, it's just a sign of the affection she has for him as her lips linger against his for a few seconds; thanking him for being there for her and well, just simply being him. It might not be passionate, but she can feel something as she kisses him; as though the two of them were meant to do it and she couldn't but smile at the feel of his lips.

She eventually pulls away from him stepping back and looking up at him, smiling again as she sees his eyes closed slightly. He opens them fully a split second later and just stares back at her. Rachel feels nervous in those few moments they just look at each other, wondering how he'll react; would he mad? Would he shrug her away and insist it shouldn't have happened? They'd cuddled, hugged and she'd even held his hand in hers and traced shapes on his skin with her fingers while he'd been talking to Dani but none of that was as affectionate as a kiss.

If he did feel anything at all, he did a good job of masking it because he broke eye contact with her about twenty seconds after she stopped kissing him and let out a sigh before squeezing her shoulders and stepping away from her. She wasn't really surprised that he didn't react, the fact that he looked at her in the same as she looked at him was telling enough; telling enough so that she could smile to herself as she walked away from, it felt right to him as well.

**A/N :**

**I don't like Brody, so this is the first of a few times through this story where I bash him a little but hey, fuck Brody.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

As always when she worked the graveyard shift, the last few hours were torture and she cursed to herself a lot about how _Gunther makes them fucking work until six, the dickhead_.

Rachel didn't even understand why the diner was even open after midnight, on a good night they'd get about twenty odd customers from then until the shift ended. Everything proceeded as normal as she'd expected; a boring, quiet night at work. she served about a half dozen dozen customers and spent the rest of the time talking with Dani and Santana.

She'd spent a bit of her time thinking about _that kiss _and what it meant, but she didn't bring it up with him; in fact she didn't really see James much that night until about two.

Rachel felt a little awkward at first when James had come out of the kitchen and sat down on the counter next to the till where she was stood chatting with Santana and Dani as they organized the cakes and pastries that were on display. She smiled sheepishly at him, wondering he was going to bring it up but if he felt any of the awkwardness that she felt then he did a good job of hiding it behind that stupidly handsome smile of his.

"Hi" She said with a small sheepish smile on her face as he sat _right fucking next to her_.

"Hey" He replied resting his elbow on top of the till to support his head. "How's the graveyard doing"

"It's okay" She offered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"It's boring as fuck" Dani said with a sigh, stopping cutting a chocolate cake into slices.

"Feel free to make out a little bit if you want to entertain yourselves, I don't mind" Rachel looked up as she heard him say those words as casually as anything. She bit her lip as she looked towards the girls.

"Fuck off Asshole" Santana said with a disgusted glance at him. James sat there smirking at them, quite obviously pleased with himself.

"You're such a dick" Dani retorted, shaking her head at her best friend. "I know you're hard up because you haven't had sex in a week but fuck off"

"I was actually hoping you two wouldn't mind-" James started to reply before Dani cut him off as Rachel bit her lip as she watched Santana's eyes bulge.

"Don't even finish that fucking sentence" Dani warned him threateningly, brandishing the knife she had in her hand at him.

She sniggered to himself, looking down at his feet to try and hide it; honestly Rachel loved watching them around each other. James knew how to push Dani and Santana's buttons perfectly without annoying them _too_ much. He matched her fiery temperament and that's one of the reasons that she knew Santana actually did like him. Since Dani and Santana had been out on a couple of dates in the last few weeks since the whole _Is Dani actually a lesbian _fiasco has been cleared up, James had taken every chance he could to tease them about their new relationship.

"Sorry Dan, you know I'm only joking" James raised his hands in surrender; Rachel smirked at him, he was so full of shit. He loved pushing to see how far they'd let him tease. "And fuck you, it hasn't been a week, I got laid on Monday"

"Whatever" Dani shook her head, going back to cutting the cake up; "Did you have to bring her back to our apartment? She was loud as fuck and I felt like punching her when she sat there with a huge fucking smile on her face in the morning"

Rachel blushes listening to them and she didn't ever think she'd have ended up being friends with three people who saw openly talk about sex as Dani, James and Santana. She had to put up with it through high school in Santana's case and she was sure she didn't want to hear about James sex life from Dani or him. She didn't mind knowing he had sex because she was able to tell when he 'd had it the night before after only about a week of knowing him; he wore a big shit face grin when he came to work the next day, but knowing the details was not something she wanted to hear.

"You say "our apartment" like you even pay rent and I can't help it if they enjoy-" James retorted, smirking at his best friend who glared back at him.

"You don't even pay rent asshole, Daddy bought it you" Dani replies throwing a napkin at him that has them all laughing. "Don't even try and say "oh I'm good in fucking bed". You fuck drunk girls that probably can't even remember they had sex the next morning"

James scratches the stubble on his face, smirking before he responds. "Well Played sweetheart"

Dani flashes him that smile and James leans over to press a kiss against her cheek. Rachel shakes her head at them; they go from being at each other's throats to kissing each other on the cheek frequently when they argue. "But seriously, please stop bringing girls home"

"Alright jesus, I won't" He replies, smiling at Dani slightly who is just looking at him sceptically.

"_Fuck" _He says exasperated, "You know I've got finals coming up; I need to cut back on going out and shit"

"When are they?" Rachel asks, eager to get the conversation away from James' apparent talent in the bedroom.

"June" He replies, smiling at her. "After that I have to get a real job. It's going to fucking suck"

"Have you decided where you're going to work?" Santana asks, leaning forward against the counter. Rachel throat dries instantly at the reminder. She didn't like the reminder that James would be graduating soon and the fact that he didn't seem to be particular looking forward to working in the city after he did.

"I don't fucking know" He shrugs "Dad says he can get me a job in New York if I want, but then there's Seattle, not to mention I could move back home"

"Why not stay in New York? You've already got an apartment" Rachel asks, hoping it comes off nonchalantly. Honestly the idea of James moving away from New York sounds horrible; he's one of her closest friends and she'd definitely miss being able to talk to him.

"I guess so" He replies shrugging and Rachel can't help the disappointed look on her face as he sounds so disinterested in staying. "I guess after four fucking years of living here, I could use a break; you know?"

"Well I hope you move away, I can have your room; it's like twice the size of mine" Dani says smirking and that causes James to laugh. Rachel smiles, though it doesn't make its way to her eyes; out of the corner of her eye she can see Santana frowning at her as if to say _whats your problem?_

She'd love to tell James to stay in New York but she realises that she had no right to tell him; and at the end of the day he wants to move across the country to work then she can't stop him, despite the fact it would be fucking horrible to have one of her closest friends so far away.

"Sweetheart, if I move out; I'm selling that fucking apartment" He says, smirking slyly at them. "You've sponged of me long enough"

"Fuck you, Chris loves me" Dani teases, looking at him sweetly. Rachel bites her lip, Chris is James' Dad and according to James always been sweet on his sons best friend; practically considering her as his own daughter.

"My old man's going fucking soft" James says with a roll of his eyes as he jumps of the counter and walks around to join them on the staff side. Rachel shakes her head when he picks up a muffin and starts picking at it.

"When are you seeing him next?" Dani asks and Rachel can't help but steal a bit of James' blueberry muffin that he's picking at. He looks up and shakes his head at her, though she can see the smirk on his face.

"Having dinner with him and ma next week" He responds licking his fingers.

"Everything okay?" Dani looks a little concerned. "Since he semi-retired they haven't both been in the city for a while"

"Family dinner with the asshole" James says simply and Rachel can't help but notice that he clenches his jaw slightly.

"Scott's going to be there?" Dani asks and Rachel reaches over to place hand on his arm, rubbing her thumb across his skin in an attempt to comfort him. James smiles as he looks at the gesture before nodding his head. "Why didn't tell me? I would have come"

"I'm not going to fucking hit him so you don't need to come" James replies letting out a sigh. "The dickhead wants something, probably money so Ma thought it'd be a good idea us to meet up"

"What's he want money for?" Rachel asks and James just shrugs at her.

"Fuck knows, he probably fucked another woman behind his wife's back and she's divorcing him" James snorts

"I'm sure it'll be fine" Rachel says reassuringly before she squeezes his arm. She knows how difficult it is for him to talk about his brother and she can understand. James hasn't told her much of the details aside from those that Dani told her and she agrees that Scott is a fucking dickhead.

"What you lovely ladies doing tonight" James asks, obviously keen to change the subject.

"We're hanging out at our apartment" Santana replies "Order in, watch some films"

"You do realise that sounds lame as hell" James says "It's a Saturday night, you're supposed to go out and get fucked"

"Some of us like to remember how we spend our Saturday" Dani retorts and Rachel can't help but smirk. She hears James laugh behind her and is a little taken aback when he wraps his arms around her from behind and holds her waist. She gulps when she feels him rest his head against her shoulder, turning to look at him.

"You should come out with me tonight" He says smiling at her; she should probably feel uncomfortable in their proximity but she doesn't, it just feels nice to have him hold her like that and she can't help but rest her hands on top of his at her stomach. She sees Santana looking at them with an amused smile, but fuck Santana, James' arms around her feel nice and who cares that's it been a while since she's felt this safe.

"I'm 19" She offers weakly. James smirks at her and she feels him squeeze her slightly.

"So? I don't even remember my freshmen year" He replies and she can't help but smile at him. "We'll go out and We'll get absolutely fucked"

"I don't know" Rachel says biting her lip again. Honestly, while she'd love to spend time with him; she doesn't like the idea of drinking, she's never been a big drinker and well if James drinks as much as he loves to fucking brag about then she'd probably regret it.

"I'll take care of you; promise" She believes him, why wouldn't she? He has those damn beautiful eyes that tell her everything she needs to know and of course she trusts him, there just something about him that tells her he'd never hurt her, but _fuck_ she just doesn't like the idea of getting drunk; she gets clingy, needy girl drunk and that's definitely not something she wants to be around him.

"Maybe another time?" She offers and he nods at her.

"Whenever you want, babe. Not going to force you to do anything you're not comfortable with" He winks at her lifting his head off her shoulder but not releasing his hold around her waist. Honestly she doesn't want him to let go, his arms around her feel too damn relaxing and well, safe. "Besides you're all lame asses anyway and would probably cramp my style"

Rachel can't help the giggle that escapes her throat; there he goes from being sweet and sincere one minute to being a fucking asshole the next.

"Some of us actually do other things than drink" Dani teases him. Rachel looks up to see James smirking and as he goes to open his mouth, Dani cuts him off by speaking again; "If you say you fuck as well I'm going to cut off your balls while you sleep; and then what will you do?"

"Ha, Ha" He says dryly, finally moving his hands away from her waist and she groans inwardly at the lose of contact. "I do other things as well you know"

"Prove it" Dani said with a smug smile and Rachel couldn't help but smirk. They both knew that James wouldn't be able to resist proving them wrong.

"I know what you're doing and I'm not fucking watching dumb ass chick flicks" He replies and Rachel bites her lip when Dani raises an eyebrow at him and he just groans. Dani wears a victorious smile as he mutters shaking his head. "What time are we going over"

"Really you're coming?" Rachel asked, her face erupting in a smile.

"Whatever don't make a big deal out of it" He shrugs and Rachel can't help nudging his shoulder with hers. She's honestly more than a little touched that he's giving up a night he'd normally go drinking to spend time with her. She chastises herself mentally for that, he isn't just coming for her…right? "Want me to bring some wine or something"

"Awww aren't you sweet when you want to be" Santana teased him and he just rolled his eyes as he started walking back towards the kitchen.

"Fuck you, I hate all of you" He muttered, though Rachel swore she could see a smirk on his face that made her own smile appear.

…

"Alright midget, spill whats going on with you and James"

"What the fuck" Rachel exclaimed, Santana's voice next to her surprised her. She was stood in the kitchen of their apartment putting the vegan pizza in to the oven. She looks around sees Kurt and Santana stood on either side of her wearing sly smiles, ones that told her that the two of them were up to something. Fuck she hated it when they teamed up on her like this. "What do you two want"

"Santana so kindly told me that this morning at work, you and James were looking particularly cosy as he wrapped his arms your waist" Kurt says smiling widely. "In fact, Santana seems to think you liked it a little bit too much"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Rachel replied, keeping her eyes focused on not looking at either of them. "James and I are just friends"

"Alright cut the crap Berry" Santana said rolling her eyes as she grabbed Rachels hand and pulled her away from the counter so that she was forced to look at the two of them.

"Santana" Rachel yelled, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Don't fucking man handle me alright?"

"We'll get James to do that" Kurt replied and Rachel felt herself blush.

"See! This is what I was telling you about" Santana exclaimed happily, smiling as she pointed at her. "You like him"

"What? Of course I like him he's my friend" Rachel said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world to try and get them off her case.

"Let me put this in simple terms, or in fact I'll say it as your lover boy would" Santana is speaking with a smirk "You want him to _fuck_ your brains out"

Rachel opened her mouth in shock. No, she didn't…okay well maybe she had thought about that a couple of times; she'd almost maybe used thee image a few times more than she'd be willing to admit when she's been feeling frustrated and needed to relive the tension. But she didn't need that to be brought up in public that the idea of getting James into her bed was something that was very, _very _appealing to her right now. "No…No I don't"

"Bullshit" Santana remarked smirking at the same time as Kurt gasped "Its true!"

"So that's what all this is about, you want him" Santana is stood there smug. "I wondered why you two had been spending so much time around each other."

"We spend time together because _he's my friend_ and I happen to like being able to talk to someone who listens to me" Rachel says frowning at them. "I'm allowed to have hot straight male friends! It doesn't mean that I want to have sex with them, does it?"

"No it doesn't" Kurt replies, smirking at her. "But the way you blush while you're talking about him tells us differently. You've thought about it haven't you?"

"I…" Rachel tries to defend herself and groans when the look of triumph appear on both of their faces. "Fine, Maybe I have thought about it; maybe sometimes the light will catch him just right and I'll see those arms of his and wonder what it would be like to have him all to myself but that's normal, I haven't had sex in months!"

"So fuck him?" Santana says after a few moments of silence. "I know you love it when he puts his arms around you"

"I can't" Rachel shakes her head at Santana.

"Why the fuck not? You're hot, He's definitely _fine_ and If I wasn't gay I would definitely tap that; what's the problem?"

"Because he's my fucking friend!" Rachel shouts, thrusting her arms out to the side. After a couple of seconds she fold her arms again. She cares about James and she knows he cares about her; but they make great friends and she doesn't want to fuck anything up with by sleeping with him. It would hurt too much to not have him to talk to and he was great with dealing with her.

Kurt and Santana look at each other confused and then back to her. Kurt walks over and stands by her, placing an arm tenderly around her shoulder. "What does have to do with anything?"

"I don't want to lose him" Rachel admits weakly, letting her vulnerable side show. "He's such a good friend to me Kurt; he listens to me, he lets me talk his ear off and he actually gives a fuck about what I have to say"

"What if you two could become something-"

"He doesn't date Kurt, he doesn't want a girlfriend; it would be sex and then it would mess up everything" Rachel says, smiling sadly as she squeezes her eyebrows together to stop herself from crying. "Yes, I am attracted to him and when he holds me, it feels nice and I feel safe and I love the fact that he opens up and is himself around me but what if we lose that. He makes me feel so special but I don't have people who treat me like he does, I can't lose his friendship by having sex with him"

"He cares about you, Rach. Dani says it herself, she's never seen him as open as he is with you" Santana says smiling and Rachel knows she that she's saying it to try and encourage her, but Rachel knows that its true and that's only another reason why she can't risk anything with him.

"Exactly Santana" She replies, smiling sadly. "Four years since that bitch fucked him about and he's only just now opening up to someone who isn't Dani. What if he closes back up again, San. I don't think I could bear to lose his friendship"

"Rach" Kurt says softly and squeezes her shoulder. "You're worried about losing him, but what if leads to something more; it could be good for you"

"I don't even know if we could be something Kurt" She says resting her head on his shoulder. "I don't want to let him in and then have him hurt me. He doesn't do relationships and can't get hurt again; if Brody taught me anything is that guys will you fuck you about in ways I didn't even know where possible"

"James isn't like anything like Brody and I'm pretty sure he'd be disgusted you even compared them" Santana says instantly and Rachel knows she shouldn't have said it like that. She didn't mean to compare them two, she already knows that James is so much of a better guy than Brody and she felt like shit for what she just said; only this morning James was comforting her and saying how much he hated her fucking douchebag ex. "Fuck, I'm a little pissed off you just said that"

"I didn't mean it like that" Rachel moans, a tear running down her cheek. "James is much better than that fucking asshole. There was always something about Brody that left me feeling like I never really knew him, like he wasn't being honest with me and I never thought as though I could trust him. But James just makes me feel safe and I know I can trust him, there's just something about him that is just warm and it was like that when I kissed him, it just felt safe and right."

"Wait, hold up" Santana said holding her hand up. "You've kissed him? When did that happen?"

"It…it was last night, he was comforting me about something Brody said" Rachel replies, biting her lip softly. "I felt close to him and I don't know, it just felt like the right thing to do so I leant up and kissed him"

"How did he react" Kurt asks, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"He didn't, well he kissed me back…but it was just for a few seconds and then we just stood there looking at each other. He squeezed my arm and moved away without saying anything" Rachel replied. She wishes she could know what he was thinking about their kiss; if it made him feel uncomfortable he didn't let it show, especially by the way that he was cuddling her a few hours later. "It felt like, like he wanted it as well? I don't know, we haven't talked about it but it felt right"

"Judging by the fact that Santana says that he was cuddling up to you at work, I don't think he minded you kissing him" Kurt says and Rachel smiles back at him. "That's got to count for something"

"I'm going to be real fucking honest with you here Rachel alright?" Santana says seriously and Rachel nods at her. "I think you two are way to fucking comfortable around each other for "just friends". Like, him and Dani are touchy but that makes sense 'cus they're uber best friends…like almost fucking brother and sister but you two have only know each other like what two months?"

"Yeah about that" Rachel replied, chewing her lip.

"You'll be stood close to each other like _all _the time and I haven't seen that type of smile on your face since high school when you were with Frankenteen" Santana continues speaking and Rachel finds herself agreeing with pretty much all of it. "But here's the thing, for a guy that says he can't let anyone in; he's so fucking different with you it's not even funny. Dani notices it as well, he beams when you smile as if its made his whole year. He's dumb about noticing this shit, Dani says but she thinks deep down that he likes you too"

She can't say Santana's wrong. Rachel hasn't mentioned it because honestly it doesn't even bother her that he seems happy every time she talks to him; because it makes her happy as well talking to him. He deals with her so perfectly, he knows how to make her laugh and he knows what buttons to press to get her worked up. He's walked her to the subway a couple of times and the way that he offers her his arm is adorable as fuck and sure she's put it down to him just being a gentleman but sometimes she has been wondering if it more than a just a friendly gesture; the way that he'll hug her seems like it could be more than just friends but fuck, he's so protective of his feelings that she doesn't know what to make of him.

"I'm scared" She admits quietly. "He's like the only good fucking thing I've had happen to me in the last few months; he's the reason that I'm not so messed up about Brody and the fact I haven't gotten heard about my funny girl audition"

"Maybe that's more telling than you've probably realised" Kurt offers, rubbing her back with his hand. "You just admitted that he makes you feel special"

"I don't want to lose him"

"Why do you have to lose him. ?" Santana replies, giving her a warm smile. "You're the reason he's opened up again; Maybe you could be the reason for him to want something more as well"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N : Thanks for the Reviews !**

**I like the idea of a James chapter. There will be one coming up that will give us a bit of an insight into how his mind is working; I won't be doing them often, but every now and then to give us an idea what he's thinking. It'll most likely be chapter 10!**

**This chapter is going to introduce "Cobi" to the story, James' best friend and if you check my profile once it updates you'll find a description and pictures of the actors I have to potray the OCs that are in this story and which are going to come up in a few chapters.**

**…..**

**Chapter 8**

The next few days after their little get together at the apartment following her talk with Kurt and Santana; Rachel doesn't work at the diner. She's glad for the distraction of NYADA from the brewing problems in her personal life, so when she gets told by Cassandra that she had come in and work more on some dance routines as well as catching up on some assignments for her general music history classes. She's been thinking about what her two best friends said to her about James and she's starting to realize that maybe she wants to be more than just friends with him. In fact she's pretty sure the last few weeks she's been enjoying how close their relationship has become because she _definitely _wants him to be more her friend.

She spent a few hours compiling a list of all the reasons why they'd be good together; narrowing it down to three major reasons; For one, He makes her feel special. Secondly, He listens and actually wants to hear what she has to say and finally he's amazing with her, from not letting her high maintenance personality bother him to cheering her up when she's down.

Obviously there were more reasons, she'd wrote down _He's hot _as a fourth reason but quickly scribbled it out along with _he gives great hugs _and several other descriptions of how he looks that make her out to be more vain than she'd like to admit.

On the other hand, she writes reasons why she just remain friends with him; a) He's afraid of relationships b) Could you trust him? And finally c) You

Like she said to Kurt and Santana, the fact that he hasn't had or actually even wanted a relationship since his bitch of an ex-girlfriend fucked his brother when he was in high school is the major reason she's wary of expressing her feelings to him. She knows she enjoys his company more than just as friends, that's painfully obvious to pretty much everyone at this point; she likes his arms around her and she likes the fact that when she kissed him, it felt so right. Rachel is also very aware of the fact that James doesn't shy away from her at all when these things do, in fact he had been the one to take it further and embrace her tightly from behind; a very affectionate, loving gesture that definitely didn't happen between "just friends".

Rachel dismissed the "_could you trust him?" _reason pretty quickly once she had put it down. She actually feels horrible for even doubting it, realising that it's just herself putting something down to try and convince herself that she can't be anything more than friends with him. She knows that there's one thing she can always rely on with James; he would never do anything to betray her trust.

While James is a man whore, something she still loves to tease him about and he drinks more than she thinks appropriate, there's one thing she's certain of; James wouldn't cheat on her. Even if he hadn't had to suffer through it himself, she'd still believe that he would always be faithful to her should they be in a relationship; he just screams "You can trust me" to her. The eyes, his nature and just the reassuring tone in his voice has her convinced he would be an amazing boyfriend.

The Reason; "You" is something that keeps coming to her mind. Could she let herself be in a relationship with? Could she get out of the way and stop worrying about losing his friendship so that she can be actually tell him she likes him as more than friends. He's wormed his way into her heart and life by being that caring, kind, lovely guy that she's not sure if she's prepared to lose him if either he doesn't want her, or things don't work out between them and they break up horribly. It was different with Brody and she doesn't miss him because they were never really friends in the first place; right from the start she was very aware of the fact he was into her and wanted to get her. James on the other hand came into her life as a friend and as she became closer friends with him discovered that she might just like to be more than that with him.

_Fuck what a mess _She thinks to herself as she falls asleep one night.

...

"Hey Rachel" she hears her name called, turning around to see Abbie coming towards her with a warm smile on her face. They've just been together for Miss July's dance class, and Rachel had put on a pair of sweatpants over the top of her tights. Abbie is a beautiful blonde haired girl who is a couple of inches taller than Rachel's own height; the two of them have been friends since the New Year.

"Abbie" Rachel replies returning the smile. "Hey, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you want to get a coffee with me?" Abbie asks, brushing her hair out of her face. "We haven't spoken much in the last few weeks and I thought we could catch up"

"Sure, I'd like that" Rachel says nodding her head. It would be nice to spend some time with a friend; maybe it'll get her head off the whole _James issue _that's been driving her fucking crazy.

She's been trying to work up the courage to go and see him but she thinks that she might say something to ruin their friendship; and that's still not something she wants to risk, considering how aside from texting the lack of time spent with him has really been making her sad. Rachel has become increasingly attached to Dani, James, Kurt and Santana; all of whom are involved in her drama combined with the fact she doesn't have many friends outside of the diner, she hasn't really had anybody who doesn't know about the drama to talk to.

"Is it okay if we head closer to NYU to get coffee?" Abbie brings up as they exit the NYADA dance building. "I hate the ones near here, that student one they have over there is so much better"

"Yeah that's fine" She nods, pulling her bag further up her shoulder. The closest Starbucks to NYADA really does suck and if going just that bit further away means getting a coffee that doesn't taste like shit then well its worth it.

They talk while they walk, Rachel feels refreshed talking about little things at NYADA that distract her form the turmoil she's experiencing in her personal life.

"I'm so glad this week is almost over, It's been horrible" Abbie remarks as they head up the street towards the coffee shop.

"I know that feel, it's been fu-really stressful" Rachel replies, catching herself as she was about to swear. Even though she hadn't heard James voice in a week, she still found herself swearing a lot more; but she didn't really mind, like he'd said to her, she was standing up for herself.

Abbie had apparently caught the word she was about to say, by the judge of her smile. Rachel really didn't want to get into it, so she was glad when the girl said something instead; "So how are you doing? We haven't really spoken much the last few weeks.

"I've been working a lot" Rachel replies, smiling.

"Oh yeah, at that performing diner? Do you enjoy working there?" Abbie asks, a genuine smile on her face.

"It's amazing, it can be really busy but I'm good; I'm happy" She replied smiling. "I've met some really amazing people there as well"

It was true, even if she was still suffering about the fact she hadn't heard back about her funny girl audition but even with all of that she was just happy because of the friends she'd made.

The two of them talked while they stood in line, Abbie asking her if there was any other reasons for being so happy; perhaps a boy? Abbie had gasped and tried to get the information out of her when Rachel had blushed furiously while thinking about James.

"It's complicated" Rachel had offered, as they were walking away from the coffee store towards an open part of the NYU campus.

She saw Abbie opening her mouth to talk again when she heard she heard a laugh that sounded too familiar, _his _laugh.

Instinctively, she stopped in her tracks and turned around looking to see where he was; where James was laughing from; that beautiful laugh she hadn't realised she'd missed until she heard it.

She smiled as she saw him sat on the edge of a stone wall that surrounded a flower bed about twenty-five feet as he talked to a tall dirty blonde haired guy next to him. His face was lit up as he smirked at the guy next to him and Rachel breath caught in her throat as she admired how handsome he looked.

"Who's the cutie?" Abbie asked next to her, snapping her out of her daze.

"That's James…I won't be a minute" she replied resisting the urge to tell Abbie to fuck off for calling him cute as she handed the girl her coffee before taking off running over to him. She vaguely heard a voice in the back of her mind telling her to calm the fuck down, but it was barely audible with the excitement she had about seeing him.

He hadn't seen her yet, but Rachel didn't care. As soon as she was close enough to him, she pressed herself into his side and wrapped her arms around his waist. She didn't care that it was probably inappropriate as hell but her rational side was being overridden by the fact that she hadn't seen him in over a week, as well as a small part that she was fucking falling for him but she tried not to let that bother her.

Rachel could tell he was surprised as he uttered a "what the fuck" and she found herself giggling against his chest as she felt him wrap an arm around her shoulder and pulled her even closer as he apparently realised who was attacking him.

Sighing happily, Rachel thought that she'd never gotten a better hug out of anyone before him. After enjoying his embrace a little longer than appropriate; Rachel bit her lip as she lifted her head of his chest, her face splitting into a beaming smile as he smirked at her. _God he is so handsome._

"I've told you before babe, girls normally make me buy them a couple of drinks before they throw themselves at me" She heard him say. _Of course he'd be an asshole!_

"Fuck off asshole" Rachel giggled nudging him with her shoulder, noting happily that he didn't move to pull away from her or that actually neither did she. Leaning up she pressed a kiss against his cheek, rolling her eyes at the cocky _handsome _on his face as she pulled away "I missed you"

"I can tell" He chuckles softly, rubbing his thumb in circles on her shoulder. "I suppose I missed you a little bit too"

"Really?" She asks looking him at sceptically, waiting for him to switch to asshole mode.

"Yeah I mean, shit babe I've missed talking to you" he replied and she felt her heart warm, he was being sweet! "not that I get a fucking word in 'cus you talk my ear off for ten hours"

Alright so he wasn't completely sweet, but she felt touched that he had missed her, not that she was going to let him know that as she digged him in the ribs.

"You're being feisty today midget" He grinned at her and she knew he loved it. "You look really beautiful, Rach"

"Thanks" She replied, smiling embarrassedly as she felt her cheeks heat up. James tongue wet his bottom lip but as he opened his mouth to speak, Rachel heard another voice interrupt him.

"So, you're planning on introduce us?" A second male voice spoke and Rachel tore her gaze away from the handsome smiling face of James to look at the dirty blonde haired guy next to him. He was cute, not nearly as attractive or as well built as James was; but who was? James' body was…_shut the fuck up thinking like that Rachel._

"This is Rachel" He said smiling. "Rachel this is my buddy, Cobi"

"Nice to meet you" She said extending her hand and shaking Cobi's. She didn't move an inch from James' side though, too caught up in enjoying being stood next to him enjoying his presence, but she saw Cobi's eyes widen a little bit as if he recognized her and she had the sneaking feeling that James had talked about her before.

"So you're the famous Rachel huh?" Cobi asked, a smile on his face. "James hasn't shut up about you"

"Really? So you did miss me?" Rachel asked, smirking at James as he rolled his eyes.

"Of course I did" James replied, glaring at his friend "And you can fuck off dude, I've mentioned her like twice"

"Yeah today" Cobi replied smirking and Rachel smiled back, though her heart beat a little faster at what he was suggesting. "But it's finally nice to meet you Rachel"

"You too" She replied, chewing her bottom lip.

"Gonna introduce your friend?" James spoke and Rachel looked up at him to see him gazing at Abbie.

"This is Abbie" Rachel said embarrassedly as the girl handed her coffee back. "Abbie this is James and his friend Cobi"

"Glad you didn't forget me" Abbie said, offering her hand to James. He smirked, raising his hand to his mouth before he extended it to clasp Abbie's. Rachel frowned when she saw the cigarette in his mouth; she knew he smoked, duh they spent a lot of time together. While at work she'd noticed that he'd normally have 1 or 2 but she'd tried to convince him to stop; the reasons for it she'd tried to assure herself was because he was her friend, but it was becoming a lot clearer that was a quite obviously a lie.

"I wish I could say I've heard a lot about you but Rachel hasn't seemed to mention you" Abbi replied smirking at Rachel. James chuckled as he took the cigarette out of his mouth and let out a puff of smoke away from the girls.

"So, you were giving me shit about not missing you and you haven't even told Abbie about me? That hurts Rachel, I thought we were friends" He teases.

"Well, you're an asshole remember?" Rachel replies, smirking back at him. Gesturing with the coffee in her hand towards the cigarette, she widens her eyes to emphasise her point as she speaks again; "I'd be more inclined to tell my friends about you if you tried to stop smoking like you promised"

"It's a gradual process, babe. Besides its only my second one today" He says, taking it out of his mouth.

"Quitting is about willpower, and I know you wouldn't like to look weak in front of me" She teases, knowing that it'll get a reaction out of him; James loves to be all big and manly in front of her.

James looks at her for a moment, shaking his head as he throws it on the floor before stubbing it out with his foot. "Happy?"

"Very. Thank you" She couldn't help but feel proud that he was taking her words seriously as she leans up and presses a kiss against his cheek. It really did touch her that he was willing to try and quit for her, he really had taken the hour long rant a couple of weeks ago about the risks of smoking to heart.

"Wow, looks like Rachel has got you by the balls" Cobi remarks smirking.

"Fuck you dude" James replies, "She's scary as fuck dude, fists of fury"

"Charming as always" She replied, trying to keep the smile off her face.

"You love it" He replied and she bit her lip as he looked towards Abbie. "So, how do you know Rachel?"

"I got to NYADA. We're in the same dance class" Abbie replied, a smile on her face that makes Rachel blush a little at realising the girl had just witnessed how she interacts with James. _Crap she's going to know he was the guy I was talking about._

"Sweet" James said, licking his lips. "So you're a dancer or a singer who pretends they can dance like midget over here?"

That comment earned him another dig in the ribs, causing all four of them to laugh as she shook her head at his crudeness. "She's a dancer and put those eyes away she doesn't need an asshole like you hitting on her"

"Babe, you know I only have eyes for Hot brunette Jewish girls with killer legs" He remarked smirking at her in a way that caused her to blush. His words were teasing but she could see something in his eyes that made her think…maybe?

"You're so full of shit" Cobi remarked laughing. The four of them stood there chatting for a good quarter of an hour as Rachel got to know Cobi a little bit. She was thinking about the fact that Cobi seemed to be one of James' "real" friends as she listened to them; her thoughts were interrupted as James spoke again.

"We better be going Cobi" James said, glancing at his watch.

"Are you working tonight?" Rachel asked, chewing her bottom lip. After a week of not seeing him in person, she really didn't want this to end.

"No and I'm off tomorrow night as well" James replied. Rachel felt him shift where he was sitting and it felt like he moved so that she was closer to him, if that was even possible. "You?"

"I'm not working until Saturday" She answered, smiling at him. "Why aren't you working?"

"Why do you think" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her as a smirk sat on his face.

"I think you'll be out getting wasted and wake up regretting it tomorrow" Rachel replied with a soft smile.

"You're probably right babe" James said laughing before looking at her again, the look on his face playful…and maybe just a little bit flirty? "I'll call you up and you can take care of me, maybe give me a bit of TLC? What do you say?"

"Don't even think about it" Rachel replied feeling herself giggle, although in her mind she's thinking about how she might just like that idea more than she should. "Seriously, when are you working again?"

"Missed talking my ear off?" James said getting a laugh from the other two people that she had seemingly forgotten were stood by them. When she nudged him again, he groaned and smirked at her again "Alright working Saturday; the graveyard shift"

"Me too; well, I'm starting a little earlier in the afternoon with Dani but I'll be there all night" Rachel replied her smile widening. It was her first shift back for over a week and a half; she was glad she'd get to spend it with him.

"I'll see you Saturday then Rach" He said, leaning down to pull her into a tight embrace, the warmness of his body feeling perfect and so, so relaxing. Rachel eyes closed as she felt him kiss her cheek as they separated about ten seconds later; his lips against her skin causing her body to heat up "Nice to meet you Abbie"

"You too" Abbie smiled, Rachel waved as James and Cobi walked off; rolling her eyes when she saw James reach into his pocket and light another cigarette. "He's cute"

"Cobi?" Rachel asked wishfully, she was well aware of how attractive James was but she didn't like the idea of another girl recognizing it and trying to make a move on her….friend, yeah James was her friend.

"Him too" Abbie replied, nudging her shoulder. "You like him right?"

"James?" Rachel asked before nodding her head when Abbie replied with a yes. "Yeah I do"

"Why haven't you made a move for him?" Abbie inquired, raising an eyebrow. "It's obvious that he's into you; I think you two would make a cute couple"

Rachel smiled at the girl, agreeing subconsciously with the statement, sighing sadly before she spoke again; "He hasn't dated in years not to mention he's my best friend...everything is just so complicated and I don't want to risk losing that"

"I get it, you're nervous of losing him" Abbie said smiling softly. "But Rachel, just think for a moment how it would make you feel if he finds someone that isn't you…"

Rachel nodded softly walking in silence for a few minutes before they separated a few blocks away from NYADA as Rachel headed towards the subway. She remained quiet on her way home, but her mind was working over time; What would it feel like to see James with someone else? She hadn't thought of that until now, just because he hadn't found anyone since he came to New York doesn't mean that there isn't the chance he could and it would feel horrible to see him acting couplely with another girl; it had become harder in the last few weeks to listen to him talk about his one night stands and they were with girls she'd never even met.

Rachel knew what she wanted…she wanted to be with James and she was pretty sure he felt the same way about her, his comment today seemed too serious despite his teasing smirk. By the time she arrives home at the apartment in Bushwick, Rachel is completely sure that she wants a relationship with James; seeing him today had confirmed the idea that they could be together in her mind. There just happened to be one final small problem, did James actually want to be her boyfriend? She'd spent the last week arriving at the realisation for herself that she wanted James, but did he return that feeling? He was so protective of his feelings and it was so, so _hard _to determine what he really thought about her and the idea of "them".

Luckily for her, there was someone in his life that knew James better than anybody and would be able to provide her with the answers she needed. Another bit of luck happened to be that James had just provided her with the perfect opportunity to talk to this person alone because he wouldn't be in the apartment that night. Rachel smiled to herself; if she wanted to get that final confirmation that she could be in a relationship with him, all she had to do was go and speak to Dani.

….

Later that night, Rachel was stood in the hallway of James' apartment building; waiting for someone to answer the door. After getting home, she'd spent a bit of time led on her bed deciding whether or not to visit Dani or to call her on the phone; eventually she'd decided that she needed to talk to Dani about this in person.

"I won't be a moment" She heard Dani shout from inside as footsteps made their way to the door, followed by the sound of the lock turning as it opened to reveal the blonde girl stood smiling. "Rachel Hey"

"Hi Dani" Rachel replied, returning the smile. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, of course" Dani nodded, stepping aside and gesturing for her to enter. Rachel smiled, walking in and when the door closed she heard Dani speak again. "Uhmm if you wanted to see James, he's out with-"

"He's out tonight with Cobi" Rachel finished, nodding her head as she took her coat off. "I know, I wanted to speak to you; unless you have plans?"

"Oh" Dani said, the two of them stood in the kitchen of the apartment. "Sure, we can talk; I mean, I don't have anything planned, Santana is working tonight. You want a coffee?"

"Please, that'd be lovely" She says. There's a few minutes of idle chat between them as Rachel asks her how her week has been while the coffee brews and Dani returns the question as they settle down on the couch in front of the TV, some random programme playing in the background.

"Is everything okay, Rachel?" Dani asks suddenly as she takes a drink. "I love spending time with you, but did you really come over at 9pm to catch up?"

"No" Rachel replies, biting her lip nervously. Why was this suddenly so hard? Oh yeah that's why, because Dani was probably the only person that knew James better than she did and what if Dani told her that James wasn't interested in her romantically at her? That would probably just destroy her completely.

"Rachel?" She hears Dani speak again, followed by the feel of her hand enveloped in Dani's. "You can talk to me about anything? We're friends."

Still unable to find the words, Rachel nods and smile weakly.

"It's about James right?" Dani asks softly and Rachel feels her eyes widen slightly as Dani smiles.

"How did you know?" Rachel asks gulping. Was it really that fucking obvious she liked him?

"Santana told me about what you said to her and Kurt" Dani replied, smiling reassuring. "About the kiss and about you liking him, but I think it's more than that right?"

"Yea" Rachel says softly, nodding her head. She might be attracted to James and think he's incredibly hot, but she knew that wasn't all that it was; Rachel knew her feelings were more than that. "I think I'm falling for him"

She feels a smile cross her face at admitting it. Truthfully she had begun to get caught up in him weeks ago, when they had their first talk; he was so kind to her, so attentive and caring. How could she not?

"I thought so" Dani smiles warmly. "Santana thinks that you just want to get him in bed, but I knew there was something more; both of you look at each other like you care deeply about the other sometimes"

Rachel felt her breath catch in her throat again. "Both of us?"

"You think that it's one way?" Dani says, laughing gently; not in a _I'm taking the piss out of you _sort of way, but an amused way as if she can't believe that Rachel hasn't seen it. "Rachel, James cares about you a lot"

"Yeah?" Rachel asks, giggling softly. She feels as if a weight is lifted off her chest, hearing the confirmation she had wanted from Dani when she'd decided to come visit earlier. "I'm so fucking happy you just said that"

"It's what you came over for right?" Dani says smiling. "To ask me if James felt the same way?"

"It was, yeah" Rachel admits, wiping her eye with her palm; she hadn't felt the tears in her eyes until they had rolled down her cheek. "How do you know he does?"

"Really?" Dani says rolling her eyes. "Please Rachel, you two are so obliviously into each other. It's so adorable. For weeks, you've been the thing he talks about the most wearing that shit face grin of his. Don't even pretend that you don't realise how you two act around each other, all flirty and cute"

"We're pretty oblivious huh" Rachel replies giggling again.

"You let him stand with his arms wrapped around you, pulled flush up against his body and you didn't seem to be embarrassed one bit" Dani says, smirking. "Neither did he; I'm surprised that you've finally admitted it, me and Santana were planning on working with Kurt to get you together"

"Payback for Operation Dantana?" Rachel says laughing along with her.

"Something like that; I think Santana wants to call you guys something silly like "Jameshel"" Dani replies, giggling.

"That's so bad" Rachel says sighing. "Do you think James knows I like him?"

"I'm sure he's aware of it, yeah" Dani chews her lip for a moment, her eyes drifting off to the side in thought. "Honestly, Rachel; I don't know. Everyone knows that James likes you, but he's such a fucking idiot that he might not realise it yet"

"Should I wait around for him to ask me out?" Rachel asks, wringing her hands nervously. She knows, _KNOWS, _that James cares about her; but she doesn't know what to do, every other relationship she's had, the guy has made the moves.

"That's up to you Rachel" Dani replies, smiling as she moves a hand to clasp hers. "James is like, crazy about you; but it might take him a little bit to realise it. Me, Santana and Kurt will help you two get together and trust me I'll be nudging him towards you"

Rachel nodded a smile on her face as she leans forward and hugs Dani tightly. They stay that way for a few seconds before they separate, both of them smiling warmly at the other. "Thanks Dani, you're a really amazing friend"

"You too Rachel" Dani says, reaching for her coffee cup with a smirk on her face. "So come on tell me about these fantasies you've been having about James"

"Oh my god, I can't believe Santana told you!" Rachel says horrified before they both break out into giggles.

By the time that Rachel is home, having declined Dani's offer to stay over and sleep in James' bed; really she'd love to have done, but she doesn't not wanting to sleep in James bed again until she manages to get him to realise that he cares about her and the two of them are together. As she falls asleep, Rachel can't help thinking that might not be so far aware.

…..

**Dani is a character that I really think had a lot of potential on the show, not only as a storyline for Santana but also as a "girl-friend" for Rachel. I'm just taking the opportunity to expand it a little bit!**

**The next chapter will be a split PoV chapter between Dani and Rachel.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N : I got a message asking about Klaine and whether they are together. At the moment, they are not together; but they will be in a couple of chapters, the marriage proposal hasn't happened yet but I have plans for that later on :-)**

**The first half of this chapter is from Dani's PoV and the second half is Rachel's.**

**...**

**Chapter 9**

_"Oh what a beautiful morning" _Dani sings to herself as she moves around the kitchen in her apartment. She can't help but smile to herself as she pours a mug of coffee, thinking about how annoyed James would get if he could hear her referring to their apartment as hers. He occasionally would refer to the apartment as theirs, but most of the time he would insist it was his; despite the fact that he spends fuck all time there.

She doesn't mean anything by it; it's just funny to tease him because really she's eternally grateful for the fact that he's let her live there three years without ever asking for a single penny in rent or maintenance. She feels somewhat guilty; thinking that she's taking advantage of their friendship but whenever she asks him if he wants money, James will be adorably cute and tell her to fuck off asking; He's her best friend and she loves him a ton, but that doesn't stop her from making him dinner a couple of times a week as thanks or despite the fact she hates going out and partying, once a month she'll indulge him and go out with him and his idiot friends.

James never tries to pick girls up when she's with him, something she appreciates immensely. While she would never judge him and doesn't say anything about it aside from light teasing, she knows that James know how much she hates how he acts with girls. James is so much more than what he's been doing to himself the last few years, he's a really amazing, kind, caring guy who would make an amazing boyfriend if he could only let his heart open again. She really hates Natalie and what she did; it breaks her heart to know that James can't let himself love someone.

While he might not pick girls up when she's out with him, the fact that he was out last night worries her. What worries her more than that is the fact that when she checked in on him to ask if he wanted a coffee, James wasn't in his bed which really only means one thing. For once, Dani hopes that her instincts when it comes to her best friend are wrong, especially given her conversation with Rachel the night before.

She'd promised Rachel that James cared about her, and she knew that he did. Dani had known him for over seven years and she was one of the few people he knew, outside of his old school friends that he didn't see much and his parents, who could remember the time when James was completely open with his feelings when he had been with Natalie. He had really loved her, and for the first time since then; Dani could see the signs that James had found someone who he felt that way about. Of course, James was a complete and utter fucking idiot; He didn't see how Rachel looked at him, nor the way that he himself looked at the girl. For the first time in a long time, Dani was furious with James if he had in fact picked up a girl last night; Rachel seemed okay with what James did, or at least accepted the idea while they had been friends, but now that Rachel had realised she cared about James; Dani didn't' want to see her get hurt. _You better have been at Cobi's last night asshole_ .

Dani settles down at the breakfast counter, eating James cereal because fuck him, he wants to stay out late and ignore the fact that Rachel is pretty much in love with him. She stays there watching the morning news on the large flat screen for about half an hour before she hears the front door of their apartment open and close, followed by the low whistling that announces her asshole friend is home.

_Please don't of had sex last night, please have stayed at Cobi's. _Dani thinks to herself, glancing towards the hallway as she sees James waltzing in, hand in his pocket as he carries a bag from a pastry shop. Her heart drops as she sees _that _grin on his face; knowing it can only mean one thing. _Fucking Asshole, I really fucking hate you sometimes._

"Morning Dan" James says, pressing a soft kiss against her cheek before he turns around and she hears the opening and closing of a cupboard door.

"Morning" She replies dryly, clenching her jaw slightly.

"You okay?" He asks as he takes a seat next to her at the breakfast counter, reaching to pour milk into his cup. "Dani?"

"No, I'm mad at you" She replies, glaring at his confused expression.

"What the fuck did I do" He says, raising an eyebrow as he puts the milk back down.

"You know what you did" She remarks, shaking her head at him again when he just stares back at her blankly. "You're such a fucking asshole sometimes"

"Alright…I don't but I'll just assume it's your time of the month" He says, smirking and normally she'd let it go and make a comment back at him but not today, not after speaking to Rachel last night.

"Fuck you" Dani says raising her voice. "Where the fuck were you?"

"Do I really need to fucking say it? Jesus" James replies, rolling his eyes. "Where am I most mornings after I go out drinking? In some girls bed"

"I can't believe you sometimes!"

"What the fuck is your problem" James says angrily.

"YOU are my problem; you're such a fucking asshole"

"Why because I fucked some girl last night?" James replies, raising his voice. When she nods at him, he moves his hand and shoves the box off cereal of the breakfast counter as he stands up throwing his hands. "Don't start giving me this now, We've lived together for fucking three years. Jesus Fucking Christ, Dani it's a little too late to start getting upset 'cause I fucked some girl last night"

"You're actually a fucking dumbass aren't you?" Dani shouts back, standing up as well.

"Who the fuck are you calling a dumbass, I'm the one graduating college in a few weeks" He fires back, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "Jesus, what the fuck is your problem this morning"

Dani marches up to him and jabs him in the chest with her finger. James glares at her angrily and squares his shoulders in what she assumes is supposed to be intimidating but its anything but that. Dani knows James would never do anything to hurt her. Sure they argue, just like they are now but he wouldn't hit a woman.

"My problem is that you were out fucking some whore while you know there's a girl that cares about you and apparently you're too fucking dumb to realise it. Or Maybe you just an asshole who likes stringing her along"

"What?" James asks confused, though he stops shouting.

"Rachel, you fucking idiot"

Dani watches as his glare falls from his face as he drops back down into his seat before speaking quietly "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean" Dani replies, lowering her voice now that he has; knowing that she has his full attention now.

"Rachel?" He says swallowing "She…_likes_ me?"

"Even you aren't dumb enough not to see it" Dani says softly putting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "I know you like her as well, right?"

Dani watches James as he stares at the floor, watching as seems to be thinking for a few minutes before he looks up at stares right into her eyes; smiling slightly as she sees a flash of affection before he close his eyes and cover his face with one of his hands. Considering that he didn't deny what she'd said, Dani took it as a confirmation and pressed on.

"Stop fucking about with these girls you don't give a single fuck about" Dani says after pulling him into a hug, smiling as she feels him nod against her shoulder. When they pull away, she touches his face. "I'll see you later Okay? I love you"

"Love you too Dan" He replies and smiles slightly at her.

When she reappears out her room to head to work, Dani smiles as she sees James sitting in thought as he leans his head back against the couch, his hands covering his face. _Maybe it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to get them together._

…

Rachel is in a good mood all day. Her conversation the night before, leaves her with a huge smile on her face all day as she goes about her classes at NYADA. A few people ask her why she looks so positive throughout the day but she just shrugs and says it's a beautiful day.

Later that night, She was sat in the Bushwick apartment along with Dani, Kurt and Santana as they indulged in good New York pizza that _wasn't _dominoes, thanks to Dani enlightening them about an either better place and a movie night while the four of them shared a few bottles of wine that the blonde girl had snagged from James' collection at their apartment.

She'd been a little disappointed when Dani had turned up without him, hoping that maybe she could have convinced her best friend into dropping his plans for the night and come settle with the four "lame asses" as he would say; a smile crossing her face as she pictured the last time he had come with Dani nearly a couple of weeks earlier as he had insisted that they were lame and he was much cooler than them, despite the fact that he happily sat cuddled on the couch with her while watching several of the Twilight saga.

It didn't bother her too much, Rachel had accepted it might take a little while for James to realise what it was between them. In a way, she was kind of glad he didn't; as much as she'd missed him, in the last couple of weeks she hadn't seen any of the three that were in the apartment now thanks to her busy nights at NYADA practising routines for her recitals that were coming up. Still she couldn't help that her thoughts lingered on him a few times more than normal as the movies dragged on.

They'd already watched a couple of films and they were well into the third bottle of wine; the four of them happily giggling away as they started to feel the intoxication taking over them. Dani and Kurt were definitely members of the "happy" drunk club, and Rachel couldn't help but laugh as the two of them laughed manically as Santana was reliving the moment a fat customer had tried to get her to go outside with him into the alleyway for a quick fuck a couple of days previous.

"Why do I never get any of that attention; I'm single!" Rachel moaned, slumping back in the couch resting her head against the arm rest.

"It's not all great" Dani replied, sighing. "It's happened to me a couple of times…it's not very nice, in fact, it's just plain creepy"

"It'd still be nice…almost like a compliment" Rachel shrugged. "I haven't had anyone think of me as beautiful in months"

"James calls you beautiful all the time" Santana replied, rolling her eyes.

Rachel smiles widely as she realises that James is a real sweetheart when he wants to be; the rest of the time he's a fucking asshole but he does quite often call her beautiful.

"I know he does" Rachel said trying to shrug off what Santana had said. "But sometimes I just wish a guy would proposition me for a date, or at least try to engage intercourse with me."

"Why do you still find a way to use long words when you're drunk" Dani giggled.

"I'm sorry, maybe I should be more like James…_It's been months since I had a good fuck!" _Rachel retorted and all of the started laughing.

"We can be the mayors of celibacy town" Kurt replied grinning.

"Have you even _had _a good fuck? I'd say not considering the two guys you've had sex with" Santana remarked.

"Finn and Brody were hot" Rachel protested, pointing at Santana with the hand that was holding her glass.

"Please Horse teeth wasn't even that hot" Santana remarked, "Don't even get me started on Frankenteen, remember I fucked him as well? He has puffy nipples"

The other three looked at her and then all of four of them burst out laughing.

"Okay" Rachel said giggling. "Lets not talk about this"

"Mhmmmm, you were the one who brought it up" Santana replied, licking her lips. Rachel eyed her carefully while she took a sip of her wine; even under the effects of alcohol, Santana was a clever manipulator who could easily take advantage of the moment to get something out of her. "I bet James looks good naked"

"I wouldn't mind seeing him without anything on" Kurt remarked.

Rachel nearly choked on her wine, coughing as she put her glass on the table to stop herself from spilling it down her clothes. She shot Kurt a surprised look, she'd never seen Kurt like this before and it was kind of scary how honest he had been.

"What? Don't look at me like that" Kurt shrugged, sipping his drink. "I'm just observing that James is a fine male specimen"

"Okay, let's not fucking talk about James like this please" Rachel said, shaking her head as she took another sip of wine; feeling her ears burn in embarrassment. The thing she wanted more than anything else right now was to see him naked in her bed, preferably doing _things _to her that blew her fucking mind. Of course, even if she was a little bit drunk, this wasn't anything she was going to admit to these fucking drunks that were in the apartment.

"Only 'cus you want to fuck him yourself" Kurt replied causing himself and Santana to giggle.

"Alright, lets leave Rachel and my best friend alone" Dani said, gesturing with her hand for them to calm down.

"Where is tall, tanned and handsome tonight anyway?" Santana asked, resting her head on her girlfriends shoulder.

"He's out with Cobi again" Dani answered.

"I wish he was here" Rachel said wishfully, sighing. At the knowing looks the other three gave her, Rachel shrugged. "What? I do. What sort of a name is Cobi anyway? God knows what his parents were thinking it sounds silly"

"His name isn't Cobi" Dani giggled. "It's Arnold"

"No…its Cobi. James introduced him as Cobi" Rachel replied, frowning at the blonde girl. "I'm not _that _drunk"

"It's a nickname" Dani said, smirking. "His name is Arnold Cobriant, Cobi for short"

"Oh" Rachel replied, chewing her bottom lip. "It's still a silly fucking name"

"Yes it is" Santana agreed before drinking the rest of her wine before reaching forward to refill the glass. "Is he hot?"

Rachel answered "No" at the same time that Dani spoke "Yes". The two girls looked at each other and Dani was shocked.

"You're kidding right Rach?" Dani asked, raising her eyebrows. "Cobi is _gorgeous_"

"He was cute but I wouldn't go that far" Rachel shrugged her shoulders. Honestly, she'd noticed he was cute, but she doesn't think he's attractive, not like James is anyway; his friend just looks average compared to that fucking piece of hunky man candy

"You got it so bad for James" Santana remarked with a smirk.

"Santana-"

"No Rach, we all know you like him; its _obvious _as fuck so please cut the crap stop pretending that all of us don't know it"

"Rachel, what Santana is trying to say" Dani said softly, smiling kindly. "Through all the adorable crudeness, remember we all know you care about him; you can talk to us about it"

"We all just want to see you happy" Kurt added, placing his hand on her arm gently squeezing.

Rachel nodded after a few moments. It would be good to talk some more, get it all of her chest.

"Did you speak to him last night, babe?" Santana asked.

"No, he didn't come home last night" Dani replies, smiling sadly. Rachel feels her stomach churn at the thought of what he was doing. She took a deep breath to try and stop herself from crying.

"Was he…you know" Santana asks in a tender voice. Rachel closes her eyes as she sees Dani nod slowly. She didn't want to cry over the fact that James had slept with another girl last night; she didn't have the right to be upset about it, he wasn't her boyfriend however much she wanted him to be.

"I'm sorry Rachel" Kurt murmured, touching her arm and squeezing gently.

"Don't apologize, he's not my boyfriend; I shouldn't get upset about it" She says and it's taking her so much effort right now not to let any tears fall. She's been his friend for a couple of months and in that time, it's never bothered her before; she'd hoped he would realise how she feels and would stop. The fact that she's realized her feelings for him but he's apparently oblivious to it amplifies things and makes her feel horrible. "It's not like I've told him how I feel, maybe I should just go up to him and kiss him?"

"Maybe I should just kiss him and then drag him back to his fucking apartment and have sex with him? Maybe then he'd realise how I feel about him" By the end of speech, Rachel can feel a tear running down her cheek.

"Oh, sweetie, come here" Dani murmured, gesturing for her to come and cuddle with her and Santana. Rachel smiled slightly, making her way over to join the two girls on the larger couch and she settled happily into the blonde girl's arms. Resting her head against Dani's shoulder, she sighed as she felt the comfort as well as Santana slowly rubbing a hand across her back soothingly. "James cares about you; trust me"

Rachel smiles sadly; "He just doesn't realise it yet"

"I think he might start to after this morning" Dani replied, Rachel lifts her head up slightly and looks at Dani's smiling face.

"What happened this morning?" Santana asked raising an eyebrow.

"He come in wearing that shit face grin of his and I laid into him" Dani says, Santana stills her hand slow movement up her back. "Told what a huge fucking bastard he was and we got into an argument before I finished it by saying there was a girl who is crazy about him and then called him an ass hole who liked stringing you along"

"You didn't-"

"I did" Dani said nodding. "He's not but it got his attention and made him realise who I was talking about"

"He knows I like him?" Rachel asks quietly, chewing her bottom lip nervously.

"If he didn't before then he definitely does now" Dani says smiling. "I told him to stop fucking around with girls he doesn't give a fuck about and he seemed to listen, I'm sure he took it in,"

"Really?" Rachel replies, feeling a smile cross her face. James knew that she cared about him? This was great, oh she can't wait to see him tomorrow...After a second it faded from her face again when she realised. "Then why isn't he here?"

"Why is he out with Cobi?"

"Hey, hey" Dani says softly. "James not being here doesn't mean anything; you know as well as I do what he's like when it comes to his feelings. He's just finding a way to express them to you alright?"

Rachel nodded. While she wanted him to be there with her right now, kissing her and well doing _other _things that made her feeling amazing; she could understand he might need a bit of time to accept what he felt.

"Alright, now that we got the soppy shit out of the way; Let's watch the rest of the film before her and the walking sex machine start going at it day and night" Santana remarked making them all laugh.

Rachel's smile returned for the rest of the night; now she _really _couldn't wait to see him.

…..

**_Next Chapter is James PoV. _**


	10. Chapter 10

**_In order to understand why James is like he is, this chapter talks a little about his past but also about what he's thinking after Dani tells him that Rachel has feelings for him._**

**Chapter 10**

Rachel cared about him. Since Dani had floored him with that comment earlier in the day,during her epic smack down of him; James hadn't been able to get her out of his head. Admittedly, Rachel was generally in his thoughts most of the time recently, but it was different now; thinking about her in a way that he had been frightened to face up to. _I care about her too._

Until this morning, he had managed to convince himself, or try to convince himself that Rachel was just a friend; he only cared about her as a friend. He'd been smitten with her from the moment they met as she helped him in the diner kitchen, but it had been easy to pass that off as _I enjoy spending time with her as friends. _Until recently he had done a good job of keeping anything else he felt for her out of his head.

Rachel was his friend, of course he cared for her; maybe a little, **_a lot, _**more than he did about any of his other friends but as he sat there on the couch transfixed by his thoughts; a single question popped into his head, Why did it matter so much about the fact she apparently has deeper feelings than that about him?

_Because she's more than a friend; so much more than a friend and you know that you feel that way too. _James sighed as he thought to himself.

It had started off as friendship with Rachel; really it had. He hadn't gotten into that friendship with the aim of sleeping with her, unlike the other girls he had known while in New York; Rachel had represented something good in his life, a person he could talk to and enjoy spending time with as **friends.**Her view on the world was beautiful, the positive outlook she had on everything and that unique theatrical personality of hers was something he'd found refreshing; he'd been drawn to her because she was so different, because she was just this perfect thing.

He'd felt real anger and a strange sense of a need to protect her when she'd told him about Brody, _the fucking douchebag._ How could anyone have hurt her? Rachel was perfect, she was this amazing girl and James couldn't understand how Brody hadn't seen that and done what he'd done. There were other ways to get money but instead the fucking douchebag had done something hurt Rachel.

James knew that he didn't really have room to judge Brody, after all he was hardly the poster child for celibacy; but there was just something so infuriating about what Brody had done, he had hurt someone as perfect and pure as Rachel. As she'd stood there telling him about what Brody did to her, he'd wanted to gather her up in his arms and never let her go; to keep her safe from the world.

He'd done a lot of horrible shit in the last four years, and James was very aware of what his lifestyle was; how much of an asshole it made him look like. He'd moved past letting what people think of him bother him, but when he'd met Rachel; something strange had happened.

When he'd told Rachel, James had expected her to judge him; to hate him because he was exactly like Brody in his eyes. But Rachel hadn't done that; she hadn't judged him. James knew that she wasn't exactly pleased that he slept around and drunk too much; she saw past it and saw who he**really **was and wanted to be his friend regardless.

It touched him that Rachel was able to see past the personality he'd molded for himself in that last four years and truly see who he was underneath. Rachel called him a kind, caring **good** person and it meant more to him than he could ever tell her. Dani had been the only other person who had been able to do that and for reason, some strange unexplainable reason; it made him want to be a better person, a person deserving of Rachel's friendship.

They spent more time together as the weeks went on, getting to know each other; building a true friendship and he couldn't remember a time when he'd been happier. James loved that for the first time in a long time, he was having a positive effect on someone; gladly seeing how she blossomed, growing in confidence as they spent more time together and James loved watching as she seemed happier and happier; she'd even begun to stand up herself and he couldn't have been more proud of her. He wasn't exactly proud of his swearing rubbing off on her but if meant that she didn't let people push her about any more, he was more than willing for it to be the case.

James felt himself opening up as well, for the first time in four years, to someone who wasn't Dani. There was just something about Rachel that made him feel at ease, as if he could trust another person again. He'd lived the last four years of his life depending on no-one but himself and Dani, but being around Rachel made him feel so at ease and _safe _that he didn't mind making himself vulnerable. Not to her.

He'd always been protective of himself and his feelings, but there had been a time during High School where he was open with more than two people. Of course outside of his friends he acted like a tough guy, he was a fucking star on the football team in high school and he was one of the most popular guys around. People knew not to mess with him or he'd fuck you up; but if you were cool with him, he would be cool with you; no matter who you were.

In New York, James trusted only himself and Dani; Rachel if you count in the last three months. He had plenty of friends but truly of those, there were only three people who he really trusted. Cobi was one of them but even him, who he'd known for ten years, was someone he was wary of opening up to; even if they'd known each other for so long, James was wary about letting him too close.

James wasn't proud of his lifestyle, he was very aware of how people around him looked at it; Dani hated what he did and he knew she wished he would stop the drinking and the one night stands. He'd always appreciated how much she tried to look after him, she really was like a sister to him and while he tried to keep her happy; something had changed in him and he just couldn't help himself from filling that void of happiness that had arisen with meaningless flings.

He was very aware of the fact that his parents knew about his lifestyle and James knew that they hated it. His parents had brought him up to have a respect for woman and to treat them right and he had done for a long time in his life. 17 year old James would have called 22 year old him a fucking asshole and tried to kick some sense into him. But 17 year old James didn't know the shit that older him did.

Ever since he was 15, James had been very aware of the attention he got from girls. In High School when he had been popular; the reward being that he'd had girls wanting him. He'd turned down all of them; he wasn't brought up to treat woman as play things, both his mom and dad had drilled that into him.

Chris and Allison Richards had been married since they were twenty and had never split in the thirty odd years they'd been together. His father was an extremely successful investment banker in New York and despite that, had always stayed faithful to his wife even with the fact she was at home in Boston with their two sons; he never used it as an excuse to cheat.

He'd always looked up to his Dad; how could any guy not? His Dad was a fucking legend. Worked hard to pay himself through college and made it big as an investment banker, making a fortune and a name for himself along the way. He was an idol to his sons, especially James who he took to every Patriot game; home and away. James grew up with the ideals drilled into him; work hard and be loyal to the woman you love. These were the key principles that Chris Richards based his success on.

Apparently somewhere along the way, Scott Richards forgot about everything their father had taught them as boys and that had been the reason James had started to change.

Scott was five years older and until James has turned eleven, the two brothers had been close. Things had started to fall apart between them about the time Scott was in High school.

James didn't know if it was the fact that Scott never wanted to be like their Dad; that was his role, James the son that would follow in their fathers footsteps, the favourite son. Scott was never as popular as he was, he was a troublemaker in school; someone who used his father's wealth to deem himself better than everyone else. James hated that and despite the fact he was from money, never used it to put people down; he worked hard to create his reputation and earn the respect of his peers. James knew that Scott was jealous of him, but they were brothers right? Brothers didn't fuck up their siblings lives.

In his life, James had loved one girl; Natalie Carter. She'd been his high school sweetheart; a cheerleader, but not your typical bitchy self-obsessed girl that most of the others seemed to be. Natalie had been caring, she'd been incredibly smart and James loved the fact they could sit together and talk for hours about the state of the country or global affairs. She was as smart and as aware of everything as she had been beautiful. James thought that he'd found his soul mate and the two of them were going to move to New York, go to college together; maybe get married after graduation and live happily ever after. That had all come falling down one day in his senior year when everything he'd thought he'd known about how life should be had come crashing down thanks to the one person he thought he'd be able to count upon not to fuck up his life.

He'd gone home from football practise and heard moaning coming from upstairs. Mom and Dad were in New York at some conference and he'd invited Natalie to stay over for the week. He could still remember how his heart had pounded in his chest as he'd ascended the steps and walked towards his bedroom as the noise got louder. Clenching his jaw, James had opened the door and found himself looking at the single most horrifying thing he'd ever seen; his girlfriend, _his _Natalie on all fours being fucked by his brother Scott. James had stood there, unable to move for several seconds until _his _Natalie had saw him standing there and had screamed out in surprise. She'd pulled away from Scott quickly and wrapped her body up in his quilt as she tried to explain but all James could see was the smirking face of his brother sat on his bed.

James hadn't even looked at her as he turned and walked out of the house, barely recognising Natalie's crying sobs as he left that house and got into his car, driving away as fast as he could.

James had spent hours sitting in a park, watching the lake as the ducks swam around; letting his tears dry out as his world came crashing down around him. It hurt him, so _so fucking _badly to be betrayed like that by the two people who were supposed to be closest to him than any other. His heart broke at knowing the girl who he loved, who he had thought was his soul mate and just cast him aside.

As he sat there, he assured himself that he was never going to let anybody hurt him like that ever again. Nobody was ever going to have that ability to crush him completely and utterly; no one would get as close to him, aside from Dani, ever again.

When he'd finally managed to stop crying; Dani had found him. She'd heard what had happened by a sobbing Natalie who had asked his best friend to check he hadn't done something reckless in anger. Dani had come and sat with him and hugged him tightly to her body as he started crying again; just like he had done so many times, she was being strong for him.

Dani was the only person he talked to about that day and what he saw, though it didn't take long for it to travel around school. He didn't speak to Natalie aside from telling her they were done and spend the rest of his senior year making sure that nothing could hurt him. Dani was the only person he could trust not to hurt him and that was how it was going to stay. He hadn't hit Scott, he hadn't even seen his brother until a couple years later when they'd been brought together for a family reunion for their cousins wedding. Despite what had happened, James had never hit his brother; he wanted to show, _to prove, _that he was the better man.

He'd graduated later that year top of his class; MVP for the state championship game, Valedictorian and heading off with a scholarship to NYU. His friends went to different parts of the country, only Cobi going with him to New York and Dani had made him promise to be good. James had smiled and nodded at her, saying he would; but even he didn't know how things would turn out.

...

Like he'd said earlier, James had always gotten the attention of girls; but there was just something about being in this city away from what had happened back home that meant he couldn't resist the temptation. After what had happened, _he loved the attention _and indulged completely in drinking and fucking all these girls that essentially threw themselves at him. It became a sport at first, between him and his new friends to see who could sleep with the most girls in their freshmen year and after that; it just become "their thing" to continue doing it.

He'd tried to cut down on the drinking since he'd known Rachel. Like he said, there was something about her that made him want to try and be a better person; someone worthy to be friends with someone as _perfect _as she was to him. James had cut down his drinking, rather than getting drunk most night; he only went out with his friends two or three times a week. He started spending more time with the three from Ohio, letting Dani convince him to come over with her and he loved the fact that Rachel beamed at him, that beautiful huge fucking grin she wore every time she saw him at the apartment. It made him feel special.

He'd been aware of the fact that things had maybe started to move past friends with her, albeit vaguely. They held hands, and she would sit and cuddle next to him. Alright maybe he was the one to cuddle next to her, but honestly it felt right to be close to her. He wasn't aware of just how far things had moved until she'd come to him that day and told him what Brody had said about her; he'd felt fucking infuriated that the douchebag could say that about Rachel and he had been ready to do the bastard serious harm. Then she'd broke down in tears again and he promised to himself that he would try his hardest to never see her hurt again; he would do whatever it took to make sure Rachel was happy. Then she'd kissed him.

He'd thought about pushing her away for a split second, before it hit him just how right it felt to have her lips touching his and he hadn't been able to stop himself from kissing her back. He'd kissed a lot of girls, but not anything as amazingly perfect as what he felt in that short few moments with Rachel. James was very suddenly aware of the fact that they had crossed a line and honestly, he wasn't sure he wanted them to go back even if they could.

But how could he be with Rachel? Despite how he'd started to feel about her, how he'd opened up to her; he was very aware of the fact that he was a fucking asshole and she was too good for him. Rachel was perfect, and he was anything but that; he could risk hurting her, he _couldn't _hurt her. He had these feelings for her, but he didn't know if he could let himself act on them.

Letting out a frustrated groan, James threw himself onto the couch and led on his back; trying to get some sleep but not being able to get Rachel out of his head.

..….

Later that day and he's in a bar. This is the same fucking thing he always does when he's got a problem; Drink. He spent the best part of the day in that fucking apartment, letting his thoughts linger on _her _and it was doing his head in. He'd argued with himself about whether or not he could himself admit these feelings for her and when Cobi had called asking him to go drinking, he couldn't say no; he needed to relief some stress.

He's very aware it's a fucking stupid idea and he should have gone to speak to Rachel about it but fuck, all he knows is that things seem easier when he's got about five drinks in his system, laughing and fucking about with his buddies. Speaking of buddies; where the fuck is Cobi? He hasn't seen the bastard in about twenty minutes as he stands at the bar drinking a glass of whiskey; its strong and right now he needed it to get his mind of _her._

"You come here often?"

James hears a sweet voice next to him, turning his head and sees the smiling face of a pretty red head. She's standing right next to him and he runs his eyes over her, silently judging whether or not she's worth the time.

He really is a fucking asshole when it comes to girls; but she's hot and judging by what she's wearing and how she's standing; she wants one thing. He runs his eyes over the tight little dress that she's wearing, lingering at the plunging neck line that shows off her _sizeable _cleavage. Whoever she is, judging by the way she's leant to one side to shows off her body, he knows that she knows exactly how hot she is.

James can't help the smirk that crosses his face as he feels her other hand gently moving over his waist at the top of his jeans while he stands leaning against the bar.

_Another Friday night, Another hot girl wanting a hook up_ He thinks to himself as he picks up his scotch and downs the rest of it, licking his bottom lip as he maintains eye contact with her. When her eyes dart to his lips, James smirk returns. _This really is too easy sometimes._

"I might do" He said playfully towards the latest girl that was hitting on him. When she smiled at him, he extended his hand and introduced himself, knowing she'd love the gentlemanly act. "I'm James"

_Perfect _He thought to himself as she blushed a little before taking his hand and shaking it softly; "Rebecca"

"Would you like a drink, Rebecca?" He asks, leaning forwards slightly as he moves his hand up her arm, stilling just next to her elbow. There's a voice in his head but it's overwhelmed by the fucking whiskey he's been drinking and its little more than a whisper.

"That depends if you have one with me" She teases, biting her lip at him flirtatiously.

"With a beautiful girl like you?" He asks, squeezing her arm gently while he smirks at her again. "Try and Stop me. What would you like?"

"A vodka and coke" She replies.

James turns to the barman and orders her drink along with a beer for himself. After he pays he turns back and smiles at her. "What are you doing here in New York then Rebecca?"

"I'm a musical theatre student at NYADA" She replies, taking a sip of her drink as the barman puts them down in front of them.

James who was halfway to putting the bottle to his mouth, freezes for a second; the smile dropping off his face as he hears a familiar description. Gulping, he finishes the action and takes a drink; licking his lips as he looks at this gorgeous red head again, feeling his mind being drawn to another certain musical theatre student.

"Singer or Dancer?" He asks, smiling weakly as he tries to push _her _out of his thoughts. That was the whole reason he came out tonight, to get drunk and free the pressure of his mind. Instead he's got the voice in the back of his head trying to drag him away from the bar and towards _her._

"Dancer" She replies, biting her lip again. "What about you?"

"NYU; Economics major" He says, trying to stop the pressure building in his head; telling him how wrong this is. He's done this plenty of times why is so hard this time? "I'm actually graduating in a few weeks"

"Really?" She asks, shifting her body closer to him. He nods at her and she smiles shyly. "So I might not see you around in a few weeks?"

He smirks again, this isn't the first time that a girl has reacted like that when he's told her he'll be graduating; the idea that the guy chatting them up is leaving town is apparently a huge turn on for some girls. A chance to be one of the last bits of enjoyment they have in the city. "Maybe not. This might be the only time we see each other"

She licks her lip and James watches as her eyes drift down his body again. After a few seconds they return to meet his gaze as he stares at her smiling. Rebecca leans closer to him, her breathe on his ear as she whispers "Maybe we should go somewhere a bit quieter and _really _get to know each other"

James grins and breathes in through his nose, ready to tell her that he's more than willing to go somewhere, _anywhere _else with her and "get to know each other". The idea that she's a performer turns him on a lot as he remembers the times he's had sex with dancers and just how flexible they can be. That all leaves his mind the moment he smells her hair for the first time. It's so familiar that it causes him to freeze as the smell of berries drift through his nostrils; the exact same scent that Rachel's hair has, he'd recognize it anywhere.

_What the fuck am I doing…you can't go with this girl; remember what Dani told you this morning. _Closing his eyes, James takes a deep breath to control himself from letting tears fall from his eyes at the fact he's doing something so stupid.

"You okay?" He hears Rebecca's voice again and it snaps his attention back to the present.

"Yeah, sorry I'm fine"

"You look like you could really use to go somewhere quieter"

"Not tonight" He replies gripping the bar a little tighter. "I'm sorry"

"Alright…" She says and he can tell she's disappointed. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah" He hates himself a little bit right now, leading her on with every intention of doing this girl; until he had smelled that fucking amazing smelling shampoo that she fucking uses. _Fuck her seriously._

"Why don't I give you my number; who knows we might see each other again?"

"Sure" He smiles slightly, taking the piece of paper from her and sliding it into his pocket. Leaning forward, he squeezes her arm "Thanks for the drink"

He doesn't wait to hear what she says, instead turning and walking quickly towards the bar door; desperate to get some air. Pushing the doors open he takes a deep breath before heading towards the curb and sitting down, holding his head in his hands.

**_FUCK, FUCK ,FUCK, FUCK. FUCK!_** He screams in his head, pounding his forehead against his clenched fists. Why the fuck did he have to be so affected by her fucking smell. All he wanted was to come get drunk and fuck some girl so that he didn't have to think about **her.**

**_Because you want it to be her. _**He thinks to himself, digging his knuckles into his forehead. Why did Dani have to tell him that she fucking likes him. Things were great between him and Rachel; they're really, really, really fucking good friends and he was fine with that; he was fine with being fucking ignorant of how he feels about her. She had to fucking kiss him and then looked at him with fucking adorable smile of hers.

He didn't have to worry about hurting her while they were still friends. Sure he'd realised that in the last few weeks there was something else between them; he felt a draw to her, that maybe he wanted to be something more than friends but he could ignore that, he was more than happy to just be friends and care about her without worrying about what it could mean.

Sure it had been a simple kiss; but it had felt so good. It felt as though he was meant to kiss her, that everything was right as they had shared a short kiss in that fucking diner. That's where everything had started to get fucked up, that stupid diner; he'd met a really sweet girl and ever since all he could think about was how fucking amazing a girl Rachel was. He knew that she had a little crush on him, she'd look at him all beaming and happy and shit that was obviously more than friendly but he didn't see anything wrong with that. The fact now that he knew she liked him, or at least Dani thought she did was driving him crazy.

"Dani could be wrong"He murmurs to himself quietly, clenching his eyes shut. He feels someone sit down next to him on the curb as a thought drifts through his mind; _you know she's not; you know what you want._

"Where you been?" He asks, staring at Cobi who is smirking at him.

"Chatting some girl up" Cobi replies "Don't pretend you were missing me"

"Me miss you? You wish asshole"

"What the fuck are you doing out here" James looked up at Cobi's amused expression.

"Thinking" He replied clenching his jaw.

"Thinking? Dude that hot red head was totally gonna let you nail her and you're out here thinking?" Cobi said chuckling gently. "What the fuck is wrong with you"

"I got a lot on my mind alright, so ease up on the fucking inquisition" He groaned resting his head against one of his clenched fists again.

"It's that Rachel chick right?"

"What?" He asks, eyes snapping to his best friends. Cobi smirks at him and raises his eyebrows pointedly. _Cobi is a fucking asshole….but at least he knows me well enough_

"Come on Dude, I saw you with her yesterday" Cobi replies with that stupid fucking grin on his face. "You're into her"

"Fuck you, no I'm not"

"You're so full of shit dude" Cobi said rolling his eyes. "Come on man, level with me"

"Fine; yeah it is" He sighs,

"You fuck her?"

"No"

"But you want to?" Cobi asks, smirking.

He can't really argue the point or tell Cobi to fuck off. He has definitely thought about it, probably _too _many times since he's known Rachel. Sure she's like, one of his best friends, but without a doubt; Rachel is still an incredibly beautiful girl who has an amazing body. The image of what she could do with her mouth, or with her hands and what her body would feel like has definitely been a source of comfort over the past few weeks. Instead of denying it, James closes his eyes and nods his head.

"So go fuck her"

"I can't" He replies, still keeping his eyes closed.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because I care about her; I want more than that but I can't" He says, opening his eyes and turning to face Cobi's bewildered face. "She's one of my _best friends"_

"So? What does that have to do with it?" Cobi asks. James hates to admit it, but maybe he's right; just because they're friends doesn't mean he can't be with her. Plenty of couples start off as friends, right?

James looks forward again, staring at the street as he bites his lip while he thinks. He's had sex with plenty of "friends" before today, and nothing bad has happened because of it; sure a couple of girls don't talk to him now because they wanted a relationship and not just a hook up but there isn't really anything stopping him. _You fucking care about her idiot; that's why you don't want to, you'll think you'll hurt her and ruin anything that you could have with her._

"I think I'm falling for her" He admits quietly a few minutes later.

"Holy shit; you love this girl?"

"I don't fucking know alright" He snaps, raising his voice. Cobi raises an eyebrow at him and James just sighs. "I don't want to hurt her"

"Why would you hurt her?" Cobi asks, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Because we both know how much of an asshole I am; I'd fuck up and have sex with some girl one night when I get drunk and I…." James explains, breaking off as he feels tears coming to his eyes. "I can't hurt her, _I can't"_

_That's the real reason I can't even think about talking to Rachel about how I feel, or how she might feel about me. I'm a fucking screw up and despite how much I might care about her…I'd end up breaking her heart._

_"_You weren't always an asshole" Cobi replies after a couple of minutes "Maybe you don't have to be like this anymore"

"What are you saying?" He laughs. "That the love of a good woman might make an honest man out of me?"

"Maybe Dude" Cobi says with a smile, squeezing James arm. "All I know is, you should talk to Rachel; obviously you care about her a hell of a lot. Or at least talk to Dani"

"Dani says the feelings are mutual" He admits in a soft voice again.

"Do you believe her?"

"I don't know dude" He replies, sighing. James wants to believe Dani, wants to believe that Rachel cares about him because he's really sure that he feels that way about her. The problem is him, he's can't be the reason that Rachel ends up getting hurt; he's not sure he could ever live with hurting her.

"You know what I know?" Cobi says, standing up from his seat next to James on the curb. "We're acting like a pair of pussies talking about our feelings; we're going to go inside and get fucked wasted. Alright?"

James can't help but laugh, clasping Cobi's hand as his friends help him stand up. "Thanks Dude"

"Don't mention it; come on, first rounds on me" James can only smirk as he follows him back into the bar, shoving his hand into his pocket; feeling the piece of paper that girl gave to him earlier.

**…..**

**Don't hate me! This chapter explains a little what James is feeling; how confused he is about not only Rachel but about letting himself feel this way again and why he is so reluctant to feel that way about her. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Rachel awakes with a smile on her face the next morning, stretching in bed before she pushes back the covers and picks out her clothing to go for a short run. The neighbourhood that they live in might not be the safest place in the world at night, but during the daylight hours; Rachel felt more than comfortable going out alone, reasonably sure that she wouldn't get mugged or worse. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, she smiled as she pushes back the curtain divider and heads out towards the kitchen; frowning a little as she hears Dani and Santana talking.

"What do you think he did last night?"

"I don't know, I called him before we went to bed and it sounded like he was in a bar" Dani replied quietly. "I really hope he didn't do something stupid"

"Do you think he would?" Santana asked and Rachel saw Dani shrug as she entered the kitchen.

"Hey Guys" Rachel said warmly, heading to the fridge to get her chilled water. "What's wrong?"

"Just talking" Santana replies, wearing a smile "Going for a run?"

"Yeah, It's starting to brighten up outside so I've started my 6am runs again" Rachel says, returning the smile. "I heard what you two were talking about"

"On that note, I should be heading to work; I'll see you two later today" Santana says, si ghing as she presses a kiss against her girlfriends lips before standing and heading towards the door.

Rachel watches her leave the apartment, biting her lip as she turns back and settles into the seat next to Dani. "You think James slept in his own bed last night?"

"I'd like to think he did" She replies, shrugging her shoulder. "I really would like to think he didn't get drunk and do something stupid"

"But he probably did" Rachel finishes wringing her hands. _James cared about her right? Why would that be his reaction?_

"I'm sorry Rachel" Dani says softly. "James is really fucked up when it comes to this"

"I just wish that he'd talk to me, you know" Rachel replies sighing. "That's what you do normally right? When you like someone, you talk to them"

"We both know that James doesn't deal with things normally" Dani says rubbing her forehead. "He doesn't do talking about his emotions; he'd rather pretend he doesn't have any than to talk about them"

"Because he got hurt by _her" _Rachel replies softly "I know that Dani, I just hoped he'd react a bit differently with me"

"I'm not going to lie to you Rachel" Dani says, reaching a hand across the table and squeezing hers. "James cares about you; but he's not as mature as he likes to think, not with this stuff. In many ways he's still that 18 year old that got his heart broke"

"I suppose you're right" Rachel sighs. "But I wouldn't hurt him"

"I know" Dani replies nodding "And so do he. Just give him a bit of time, alright?"

Rachel nods, smiling slightly when Dani speaks again in a reassuring tone. "Go and enjoy your run…well as much as you can anyway. I'll go home and check on James"

Rachel giggles, feeling her mood brighten as she nods at her. "Alright, I'll see you later Dani"

"Bye Rachel"

….

A few hours later and Rachel is working at the diner; fake smile plastered on her face as she serves customers, her eyes lingering on the clock as it comes into vision as she counts down the hours until her next break. She's been working for about three hours now and it's a Saturday afternoon which means that the place is packed with tourists looking around Broadway as well as the locals that come in. As it gets busier, the staff members are forced to perform more and more to satisfy the amount of people eating there and honestly, Rachel's feet are killing her.

At least one thing is off her mind; while she didn't speak to him, Dani confirmed when she met her at the diner about 4 that he was at least in his own bed. Dani said that she'd gone home and took a peak in James' room, the sound of his light snoring assuring her that everything was good and he hadn't been stabbed and left in an alleyway somewhere in the city. Dani has also assured her that it seemed like he had come home along, considering the take away she'd found lying around the kitchen along with the open bottle of whiskey; James didn't drink whiskey when he was with a girl. That knowledge alone made her feel a great deal better as she walked around the diner working.

A part of her was really, _really _angry and upset with him for reacting how he did. Rachel knew that he cared about her; why couldn't he just realise that and come talk to her? Why did he have to go and get so blindly, stupidly drunk? It was so at odds with the James she had grown to know over the past few months; that strong, independent, _mature _guy that she couldn't help but develop feelings for.

_Can you really blame him? _Rachel thought to herself. He had been put through the worst kind of hell by his ex, the woman he loved and she knew that James had never really dealt with the issue properly; instead closing himself and making himself hard to the world, to protect himself from getting hurt. Brody had done something horrible to her, but she had never really_truly _loved him. Rachel recognised that now, he had been someone she had needed to try and put Finn out of her head; she had mistaken that for love, but truly it was nothing like it.

About half an hour later and Rachel sees the person that she's been waiting to see so badly. Her attention is on the conversation she's having with Joe, one of the waiters, when she hears his voice.

"Sup Dude" James asks, she can see a slight smile on his face as he stands at a side angle talking to Max; fist bumping the guy before he starts walking towards the kitchen where the coat room is located for employees.

"Just a second, Joe" Rachel says with a small smile; turning and walking quickly to try and catch James. She arrives at the door just as he reaches it. "James, hey"

She's taken aback when he doesn't response, simply continues on; pushing the double doors open and strides through, his eyes set dead ahead the entire time. Rachel frowns, he ignored her? James never ignored her. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the doors open and walked in; _He doesn't get to ignore me, not now; not with what's going on between us._

Rachel see's him moving about the kitchen, back turned to her as Jack gives her a small smile. "James?"

"Yeah what?" He replies, not turning to look at her. Rachel hears his voice so _cold, _as if he doesn't care about what she has to say; as if they haven't been friends for the past three months, and as if they haven't both got feelings for one another.

"Are you okay?" She asks in a tender voice, almost begging him to talk to her.

"Fine" He replies again and she hears him sigh. "Did you want something Rachel? I've got work to do"

Rachel heart almost breaks at how dismissively he talks to her. The way he says her name is so alien to her, it holds none of the normal softness and affection. She can see that even Jake is confused by the way the guys eyebrows meet in a V. Struggling to stop her eyes from filling, Rachel speaks quietly before leaving the room; "No"

_"Rachel!" _She hears Dani's voice as she strides out of the kitchen, heading towards the front door; she has to get some air, being in that room with him and hearing him treat her like a stranger. She can't handle it. Rachel had spent the last couple of days accepting that James cared about her just as much as she cared about him; but to hear him talk to her like that, all she could think about was that she'd ruined everything between them.

As soon as she's a few feet away from the diner, Rachel feels Dani pull her into an embrace as she lets tears run down her cheeks.

"Rachel, what's wrong sweetie?" Dani asks as she releases her from the tight hug after a few seconds.

"James hates me" Rachel admits, her voice weak. "He doesn't care about me"

"What? No he doesn't hate you, Rachel-"

"No! He does, you didn't hear the way he just spoke to me; like he didn't even know me" Rachel says, sobbing slightly. "I've ruined everything"

"Sweetie" Dani says, feeling the girls hands cup her face. "Don't cry; I'll speak to James when it gets a bit quiet okay? We'll sort this out, but I promise; _I promise you, _James doesn't hate you"

"Okay" Rachel says nodding after a few moments. She lets Dani lead back to the diner after she wipes her face on a handkerchief, putting on a fake smile to hide how she's really feeling while she works. The smile masking the fact that Rachel is sure that things with James have changed for good; and she isn't sure that she likes exactly how they have.

…

Rachel knows exactly when Dani goes to speak to James. The diner quietens down a couple of hours later, around about 10pm and its probably a good thing to; Rachel is sat refilling napkin holders at a table at the far right of the diner when she sees Dani walk into the kitchen.

"You okay, Rachel?" Santana's voice comes and she opens her eyes to see her friend sat down opposite at the booth. Santana had worked the early afternoon shift from about 7 through till 2 and then gone home for a break before coming back to do the graveyard shift from 9pm.

"No" She replies, shaking her head slightly. "I don't like they are arguing about me"

"Well if asshole wasn't such a massive fucking dick" Santana says, taking some of the napkins and helping her with the task. "Then Dani wouldn't have to scream at him and call him a bastard"

Rachel smiles sadly, chewing her bottom lip as she tries to focus on the work instead of the fact that she can catch a little bit of what Dani is saying. "At least there's no customers in here right now"

"I don't know, I'd like to see Gunther give James some shit for once" Santana says amused and both of them giggle a little bit. It doesn't last longer than a couple of seconds before the kitchen doors slam open and a _furious _looking Dani storms through.

As she sits down in the chair next to Santana, Rachel gulps at the look of anger on her face; Dani is probably the most relaxed person in the world who never gets worked up about anything.

"You okay babe?" Santana asks cautiously, touching her girlfriends arm gently.

"He's infuriating sometimes" Dani replies softly, sighing as she rubs her face with one of her hands.

"What did he say?" Rachel asks calmly, gripping a napkin in her hand. "Is he okay?"

"Oh he won't be when I get him home later" Dani replied, shaking her head again. "I'm going to fuck kil him"

"Calm down, babe" Santana says soothingly, gripping her hand. "What did he say?"

"Very little" Dani says simply licking her lips "He wouldn't tel me where he went, or what he did but apparently he did enough so that someone felt the need to punch that smug look of his fucking face for once"

"Someone hit him?" Rachel asks alarmed, worry spreading over her. Was he okay? Of course he wasn't, something happened that had made him close off the people who cared about him.

"He's got a black eye, that's all" Dani replies, smiling reassuringly. "It looks painful, but it's the least he deserves for making you cry before"

"I'm going to go see him" Rachel announces, standing up from her seat. "I need to make sure he's okay and-"

"Be careful, Rachel" Dani cuts her off, a hand holding her arm ever so gently. "He's upset about something and, well you know he likes to shout at people instead of admitting it"

She nodded in response before walking over to the kitchen; taking a breath before she pushes the doors open. James is stood leaning his elbows against one of the kitchen surfaces, his head in his hands; Rachel takes a step towards him and hesistantly calls out to him in a soft voice; "James?"

It's enough to make him move and he stands up and gazes at her for a moment. Rachel can see his eyes looking vulnerable and maybe even a tear running down his cheek as he stares at her before he blinks and turns his back to her. "Hey, does a customer want something making?"

"No" She replies, shaking her head even if he can't see as she takes another step towards her.

"You want something making for your break?"

"I'm not hungry, but I came to see if you're okay" She says, smiling at how different his voice is now; back to the caring way he normally speaks to her.

"I'm fine" He replies and she can see straight through it.

"Are you sure? Dani says that you're upset about something"

"I'm fine, you can go back and tell the fucking mother hen that I don't need her watching out for me" He retorts dryly and Rachel can't help the frown that crosses her face. "In fact I don't need anyone watching out for me, I don't give a fuck anymore"

"James it's me, you can talk to me"

"Cool, if I tell you I don't want to talk to you will you leave me the fuck alone as well?" He asks, the hostility making her flinch a little bit.

"Not until you look at me" She replies trying to sound confident.

She hears him laugh dryly before she seems him take a deep breath as he turns to face her. Rachel gasps a little as she sees his face, the area around his right eye is bruised; a very prominent mark that he'd been hit.

"What" She asks, the words catching in her throat for a second. "What happened?"

His eyes don't meet hers as he says in a harsh tone "The doors behind you"

"Tell me what happened"

"What do you think fucking happened?" He asks, clenching his jaw.

"Someone hit you?"

"Awesome, you guessed" He replies, smirking at her. "Now turn around and fuck off"

She flinches at the sound of his voice, James never normally treats her like this; whatever happened to him and however rude he's being, Rachel knows that he needs her right now but he just can't bring himself to admit it.

"Please talk to me" She asks softly, taking a step towards him. His eyes seem to be flashing with affection, crying out for her to help him but its counteracted by the way his hands and jaw are clenched; warning her away. It reminds her a lot of a wounded bear, trying to defend itself while it's hurt because its wary of letting anybody see it vulnerable. "I can help-"

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO FUCKING HELP ME" He shouts at her and Rachel takes a step back instinctively; there's something in his lashing out, it's not anger; it's pain and hurt. Gulping, Rachel moves to walk towards him again as he glares at her. "I don't want anyone's fucking help; what the fuck don't' you understand, leave me the fuck alone"

"You need me right now and I'm not going to leave you when you're hurt" She tries to explain as softly as possible, trying to keep her voice calm and soothing despite how irritated she is that he's treating her like this.

"Are you fucking stupid? I don't want your fucking help" He replies, pushing himself off the counter and taking a step towards her. "What do I have to do to get through to you? Fuck off"

"No" She says, shaking her head at him defiantly. His eyes soften for a moment and she can't help but smile at him, hoping that he recognises what she's saying to him; that she'll never leave him and she'll always be there for him. Rachel thinks she's gotten through to him and she goes to open her mouth to speak again; "James-"

"YOU ARE FUCKING INFURIATING" Her words are cut off by him shouting over them and Rachel gasps, hands flying to cover her mouth as he turns and punches the cupboard on the wall, followed by a loud groan.

Rachel flinches as she watches him clutching his hand to his chest, listing of several curse words off in quick succession in an angry tone; "Fucking Cunt; twat, bastard FUCK"

"James" She says his name again and this time, he opens his eyes and looks up at her, her heart breaking as she looks into them.

There are tears in his eyes as he looks at her; begging her as he speaks again, almost a whisper. "Please just go away"

Rachel shakes her head at him again, watching as he collapses to the floor and stretches his legs out as he sits leaning his back against the counter; starting to cry. In that moment, Rachel heart breaks and despite how he's being shouting at her, she knows she would never leave him alone; not like this, not ever. Striding over the short distance to him, Rachel sits down next to him and raises a hand to his cheek; gently touching his skin as he rests his head back against the surface behind him.

"James" She murmurs quietly and smiles as she sees him open his eyes again, turning his head slightly to stare at her.

"Rachel" He whispers, tears rolling down his cheeks as his eyes flood with emotion; affection, sorrow, pain and hurt. "I'm sorry"

She doesn't know what to say to him; instead she just pulls him close to her, hugging him tightly against her body as she hears him start to sob. Rachel has no idea why he's just broken down in front of her, but what she does know is that his arms come around her waist and he's holding her close; almost clutching her to make sure that she's real and in that moment Rachel knows, _she knows_ that he cares about her.

They sit there together for ten minutes as she just holds him while he cries, murmuring words that she can't make out into the crook of her neck as she tries to offer him whatever comfort she can by running her hand up and down his back in what she hopes is soothing. She takes a look at his hand at her side and sighs a bit in relief when she sees that it doesn't look too bad; there is a bit of blood and she assumes that's because he split the skin near one of his knuckles but apart from looking a little bruised, she guesses it'll be okay to leave for a little while. In any case, she isn't sure she wants to move away from him right now; this is the first time that James has ever looked so broken and vulnerable in front of her that she doesn't' want to let him go.

A few minutes later and as she feels him loosen his grip on her, Rachel reluctant moves her arms from cradling him against her body as he sits up. She moves her hand back to his cheek and tenderly starts moving her thumb across the bruised skin as he stares in his lap.

"You want to tell me what's wrong?" She asks softly, her thumb still brushing carefully over his bruised cheek.

He shakes his head, still not looking up from his lap.

"James, don't even try and tell me that you're fine" She says, squeezing his arm. "Please talk to me"

"I'm sorry" He murmurs quietly, his eyes looking up to stare at her. Rachel heart hurts at the sight of them, red and puffy.

"What are you sorry for?" She asks, moving her hand from his face and reaching gently for his bruised one.

"I fucked up, Rach" He says, his voice still quiet. "I fucked up and I'm so sorry"

"Hey, hey" She says soothingly as he clenches his jaw again, another tear leaking down his face. "James, you didn't do anything to hurt me; why are you apologising?"

"I don't deserve you" He replies quietly.

"It's okay" She says squeezing his arm gently. "You're upset. I don't know why but it wasn't because you shouted at me, right?"

James nods slowly. "I did something and you're going to hate me; I don't deserve to have you here"

"I could never hate you" She says, offering him a smile. "Tell me what happened, _please"_

"I went out last night" He starts to explain, his voice a bit louder than a few moments ago. "I went out to get drunk and try to push everything I feel out of my head"

"There was this girl and…and I was going to take her home" He says, Rachel watching as he closes his eyes tight. "We were stood outside and this guy…she had a boyfriend and he saw us leaving; he came over and started shouting, at me; at her. I don't even remember, all I could remember how horrified I was and then I felt him punch me"

"I let him punch me because I couldn't believe what I was about to do. I was about to fuck another guys girlfriend and I'm so sorry" James starts sobbing again, his next words broken up. "I'm so, fucking sorry Rach"

Rachel listens to his admission, feeling her heart break for him. Rachel lets her own tear roll down her cheek as she scoots closer to him and puts an arm around his shoulder, moving him so that he rests his head against her chest as she holds him close. Pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, she speaks quietly; "I forgive you"

"I can't" She feels him say quietly as he shakes his head. "I'm a screw up, I'm my brother"

Everything dawns on her quickly; why he reacted to this event so _extravagantly_. The one thing she knew about James, which he always wanted to prove to be a better man than his brother; it was clear to her now why he had tried to punish himself and push everyone away. He was comparing himself to Scott. Rachel felt a tear streak down her cheek, he wasn't like his asshole brother; she knew James was a good man. "James you're not; you didn't know she had a boyfriend"

"I should have known, _I should have been able to tell" _He replies. "I know what that feeling is like; to have your world crumble down"

Rachel opens her mouth to speak but he just keeps going, sobbing as he grips her tightly again. "I was so close to making someone else feel that and now all I can think about is how many times in the past its happened, how many times have I had sex with someone's girlfriend and it makes me sick"

"I'm as bad as Scott" He says and Rachel can hear the disgust in his voice. "And I'm as bad as Brody. I did all these things without caring about the consequences, not caring about who I hurt"

"James please don't" Rachel says softly. "You're not anything like Scott, or Brody; neither of them are worthy of you"

"I am" He replies, shaking his head against her chest. "You don't see it but I do; I'm exactly like Brody"

She knows that he is nothing like Brody; Brody did what he did, knowing that he was betraying her. James, whatever he has done in the past had never done any of it to purposefully betray or hurt someone. Most of all; Rachel knows he would never do anything to purposefully hurt her. "You're nothing like them. You didn't do it to hurt someone; you would have never done it to me. I know you would never hurt me"

"If you can tell me that if you had me, as your girlfriend, you would have still done those things to hurt me" Rachel pauses for a moment, sniffing. "If you can tell me you would hurt me then I'll believe you're not the good man _I know _you are"

"I'd never do anything to hurt you" He replies a few seconds later, quieter than she's ever heard him speak. "If I had you, I would never do anything to hurt you; but I don't have you and I'm not good enough to feel this way about you"

Rachel heart beats quicker as she processes his words in her head. Did he just admit that he had feelings for her? Gulping Rachel, thought about her next words; choosing them carefully so that he would understand.

"You have me" She says quietly, smiling slightly. "You know you have me, you just have to ask"

Rachel heart beats faster as she admits to him; admits that she cares about him and if he would ask her, she would be his girlfriend. She knows that he would never hurt her, James would never hurt her; he cares to much and she wants him to know that. When he leans up off her, Rachel gulps as she watch him sit up and stare in her eyes; his own searching hers for confirmation.

"What do you mean"

"You have me" Rachel smiles at him, watching as his eyes are staring at her intently; searching hers for an explanation as she speaks again; ""I'm falling for you, James"

She watches as he stares at her for a moment, the movement in his eyes amazing her; she see's shock, to affection before they finally brighten as he smiles slightly. "You're...you have feelings for me?"

"Yes" Rachel giggles, nodding her head at him as he grins back. Her eyes dart to his lip as his tongue wets them before she sees him start to move closer. Her heart is pounding so loudly, she swear that he can hear it considering how close he is to her; the anticipation building as she closes her eyes when his face is only an inch away from hers, their lips almost touching-

"Are you guys okay in here? We heard shouting followed by quiet and I'm just making sure you didn't kill ea-" The sound of Santana's voice causes her to snap her eyes open and Rachel feels her cheeks blush furiously as she turns her head to see the latina wearing a smug smirk on her face. "Not entirely what I was expect but at least you two aren't fucking on the floor"

"Fuck you" She hears James voice, giggling as she turns and looks at him; seeing a red tinge on his cheeks as well at being caught in an intimate position, sat together on the floor.

"You are getting so much shit for this, asshole. So much" Santana smirks, waving at them before she turns and walks out of the room hollering over her shoulder "Keep it PG"

"Oh my god, I can't believe she nearly saw us kissing" Rachel giggles, moving her hand to cover her face.

"Hey, don't hide from me" James says and she feels his hand gently nudge her cheek, Rachel smiles as she lets him bring her face back up to look at him. "Never hide that beautiful face from me"

"Okay" She replies, biting her lip as she saw him smile at her; a warm smile that makes her heart beat faster. Rachel licks her lips, starting to move forwards to kiss him. "I think that we were about to do something"

When she looks into his eyes, Rachel can see that he cares for her; his eyes swirling with affection and she doesn't wait any longer to kiss him as she closes the gap and presses her lips against his. The second their lips meet, Rachel feels a jolt, a spark that flourishes throughout her body at the amazing rightness of the contact. They share a long, drawn out kiss that leaves her breathless; her heart beating at the amazing sensation as their lips separate for a few moments; her eyes meeting his and seeing them clouded with lust, of wanting her; something that makes her feel warmth throughout her body and a wetness between her legs.

She doesn't get to dwell on that before she feels James lips on hers again, one of his hands coming up to hold her neck as he runs his tongue against her bottom lip while the other threads itself into her hair, holding her close to him as she readily opens her mouth and lets him deepen their kiss; moaning at the sensation of their tongues meeting.

The next few minutes are a rush, as they both get to know other in this new way; tongues touching and teeth nipping at the others lips. Rachel hands are everywhere, trying to find somewhere to hold onto as he keeps his hands in a dominative but incredibly hot way on her neck and head that she can't but lean closer to him and press her body against his. It doesn't bother her how he is so forceful, its erotic and its hot; she's never been kissed like this before, never had someone kiss her with so much passion that it is taking her breath away; his tongue expertly stroking hers, every now and then he'll drag it across the top of her mouth and it makes her moan again.

Deciding that she's had enough of him taking control, frustrated with not being able run her hands over him; Rachel shoves his hands off her and grips his wrists in hers, pulling her lips from his for a moment as she moves to straddling him; pinning his arms against the surface behind him as he lets out a low growl at her before she presses her mouth against his and forces her tongue back into his mouth.

He tries to move his hands, but Rachel keeps a hold of his wrists; a war going on between them as their tongues duel with each other. When he nips at her tongue, Rachel moans and releases his wrists, and moves to rest her hands on either side of his jaw; keeping his mouth in contact with hers as she presses her mouth against his as she explores further in his mouth. She can't help but grind against him slightly as he rests his hands firmly on her bum and gives her a squeeze; both of their arousals pressed against each other through the material of their clothes. She grins against his lips as she hears him moan out an "fuck" between kisses, knowing what effect she's having on him making her want him, wanting him more than she's ever wanted anyone before as she moves to his neck and starts biting and sucking at the skin.

"You're fucking good at" He murmurs throatily. "Fuck, you're so fucking perfect Rach"

Rachel can only groan in response as she licks her way up to his ear, nibbling on the love as his hand on her ass pushes her closer against him.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear you say that" He murmurs, threading his fingers in her hair again and pulling her head back up this and instantly pressing his lips against hers.

When he traps her bottom lip between his teeth and pulls it gently; Rachel can't help but whimper, her eyes rolling into the back of head as he releases it and attached his lips to her neck, shifting so that her core is pressed against one of his legs.

_"oh fuck" _Rachel moans as he sucks on the skin roughly at her pulse point, then swipes his tongue over the spot soothingly. As he starts kissing her skin again, all Rachel can do is grasp at the back of his head with one hand and at his neck with her other; begging him never to stop what he's doing.

"Moan for me" He murmurs huskily and the sound makes her skin shiver. Rachel whimpers as he licks her skin and then reattaches his mouth sucking the spot he had been paying attention to. She can feel the tension building in her and she shifts on his leg, rubbing herself against him to try and get some friction.

"Fuck, you feel so good" He says moving his lips to her jaw and nipping the skin.

"I need you inside of me" The words leave her mouth as he places a teasing kiss against the corner of her mouth before kissing her fully, his hand coming up to cup her cheek as he shoves his tongue back into her mouth, Rachel wrapping her own around it; her hands having taken on a mind of their own as they move to his chest and her fingers fumble as she starts to unbutton his shirt. She manages to undo a couple of them before his hand comes up and stops her, Rachel taking the opportunity of his mouth leaving hers to move and nimble at his ear lobe again as she presses herself against his leg firmly, letting out a moan as she feels his leg jolt at her wetness. "Fuck me, _please James Fuck me so hard"_

"Stop" He murmurs, hand coming up to her neck again and pulling her away from his ear.

"_No, please I need to feel you" _She says huskily, resting her forehead against his and grinding herself against his leg; watching as he bites his lip as his eyes half close. "_Take me, for the love of god; take me"_

"Rachel, stop" He says and grips her hip tightly with his hand stilling her movement. "We need to stop"

She watches as his eyes widen, as if to make his point to her. Whimpering as he shifts her body so that her arousal isn't pressed against his leg and she reluctantly kneels between his legs. Opening her eyes, Rachel looks at him sadly, feeling them welling with tears as she speaks softly in a vulnerable voice; "You don't want me?"

"Hey please don't cry" He answers quickly, hands coming up to her rest against her cheek as he wipes her tears away as they run down her cheek. "Please don't; of course I want you. I want you so fucking badly"

"It doesn't feel like it; Why did you stop us?" She asks, relaxing into his hands; enjoying the tenderness of his hold on her.

"Because we're not in my bed" He replies, licking his lips. "I want you, so badly but we need to wait until we're alone"

Rachel eyes widen for a second as where they were came flooding back and she let out a low moan as she closes them and buries her face in his neck out of embarrassment. Her heart warms when she feels James arms secure themselves around her and she shifts so that she's sitting in his lap while she hides her face from him; murmuring against his skin; "Oh my god,I can't believe I was about to ride you at work."

She can't help but smile when she hears him chuckle, his chest moving as she cuddles closer to them. "Rach, look at me"

She shakes her head and she feels him squeeze her shoulder as he speaks again; "Come on don't hide from me, not after that. Let me see your beautiful face"

Enjoying the soothing way his hand his moving up and down her back; a tender affectionate gesture, Rachel nods as she lifts her head off his shoulder and looks him in the eye. The cloudiness of his eyes, full of lust and want; _want for her¸_is replaced by something softer. Affection and Rachel smiles at seeing how much he cares about her reflected in his eyes. "You're so beautiful"

Rachel smiles at him, moving one of her hands to cover his as it moves to rest on her neck; keeping the soothing feeling of his skin against hers. Licking her lips she speaks softly; "That was some kiss"

"Mhmmm" He replies nodding, he lets out a sigh and his eyes move to meet hers again. "We need to talk"

"Please don't tell me this was a mistake, I can't take it if you do" She begs, voice breaking.

"Hey, hey" He says, shaking his head. "You could never be a mistake; I care about you too much"

"You care about me?" She asks timidly, feeling her heart beat faster at the thought.

He smirks. "Rach, of course I do"

She can only grin back at him before she leans forward and kisses him. This time, it's similar to the first one they shared; Affectionate, calm not filled with any kind of wanting or neediness just a simply chaste kiss to emphasis what she said. "Let's get your hand cleaned up and we can talk.

…..

**A/N :**

**So there we have it! James and Rachel have finally made some progress!**

**The kiss was a result of the sexual tension that's been between the two of them for a few chapters and they both got a little carried away, but I wasn't going to have them actually have sex in the diner.**


End file.
